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How Dads Stay Grounded When Life Feels Heavy

Inside this issue

• A simple way to reset when everything feels like too much
• A tool to uncover the stories your stress is telling you
• Time to Sprint: A five minute routine to calm your nervous system
• What is one small intentional moment you can create?
• Connect with Kristian
• On the show this week
• The Last Laugh: Run along
• But before we get to all that, here’s what’s…

On My Mind

Spending an hour with Kristian Leavell left me thinking about something many dads feel, but almost never say out loud.

The pressure to be everything at once.

Provider. Protector. Present parent. Calm partner. Competent worker. And somehow also a fully functioning human who remembers he exists.

Kristian and I talked about how “you can’t forget that you exist.” 

It sounds obvious. But most dads live the opposite. We squeeze ourselves into the leftover minutes of the day. We put our needs last. We push through. We stay tired. And we tell ourselves that it’s normal.

What I took from this conversation is that being a great dad is not about perfection. It is about presence. And presence is built from intention, honesty, and the courage to admit when you are running on fumes.

Kristian shared the swamp metaphor from acceptance and commitment therapy. Picture standing on a bank in the swamp. Across the muddy waters, there is another bank that is the version of yourself that you want for yourself. Between you and that version of yourself is a swamp filled with anxiety, fear, programming, and old stories you carry from childhood. The only way across is to walk through it.

That image has stayed with me.

Because every dad I know is trying to cross that swamp in his own way. Step by step. Day by day. Mistakes included.

This week, this issue, and this episode are all reminders that you do not have to overhaul your life to get across. You just have to start with one intentional moment.

The Reset Ritual for Overloaded Dads

Why it Matters

When you realize you are giving more of yourself to work than to your family, or more to your family than to yourself, the guilt can hit fast. Kristian shared that dads often feel pulled in both directions at once and rarely give themselves a way to reset.

Why it Works

Small resets regulate your nervous system. They make your shoulders drop. They bring you back into the moment instead of living in autopilot.

How to Do It

• Say it out loud. Naming the imbalance reduces its power.
• Step away for five to ten minutes.
• Choose something with intention. Walk. Breathe. Stand outside. Sit with quiet. Move your body.
• Return to what matters with a clearer head.

From the Show

As Kristain says, “there is so much power in saying what is swimming in your mind out loud.” 

Pro Tip

If you feel the early signs of tension, check your shoulders. If they are rising, you are carrying more than you think.

Identify the Story You Are Telling Yourself

Why it Matters

Most stress doesn’t come from the situation itself. It comes from the story running beneath it. Kristian teaches his clients to notice the voice behind the stress. Often it is old programming.

How to Do It

1. When anxiety spikes, write down the story. (Examples: I am not doing enough, I am falling behind, I should be more.)
2. Ask: Whose voice is this? A parent? A teacher? Your younger self?
3. Ground yourself in reality. What actually matters to you right now?
4. Replace the story with a value that is true. (Examples: I value being present, I value consistency, I value connection.)

From the Show

Kristian says, “Identify the story you’re telling yourself. Sit with it long enough and you will hear whose voice it is.” 

Pro Tip

If the story feels harsh, it is probably old programming, not present truth.

Time to Sprint: Five Minutes to Reconnect With Yourself

Why it Matters

You don’t need a weekend away to feel grounded. Kristian reminds dads that five to ten minutes counts and “these small acts build over time.” 

How to Do It

Step 1

Step outside or move to a quiet spot.

Step 2

Take five slow breaths. Notice your shoulders. Let them fall.

Step 3

Place one hand on your chest. Ask, what am I feeling right now? Name it without judgment.

Step 4

Ask, what do I need right now to feel more like myself?

Step 5

Choose one small intentional act for the next hour. A check in with your partner. A pause before reacting. A moment with your kid.

Pro Tip

Your reset works best when you do it at the same place in your daily routine. Habit beats willpower.

Your Move

What is one small intentional moment you can create this week to feel more grounded? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

Connect with Kristian

If you took something valuable from Kristian’s wisdom this week, you can follow his work and support what he is building.

​TherapyTokWithKris on TikTok​

​TherapyTalkWithKris on Instagram​

​DistinctApproachCounseling.com​

​Email Kris​

He shares practical mental health insights, tools for emotional clarity, and grounded advice for anyone trying to grow while raising a family.

On the Show This Week

Continue the Conversation

Watch the full episode on YouTube or listen on your favorite podcast player. Kristian’s honesty in the long form conversation adds a layer you can only feel when you hear him say it.

Check it Out

🎧 Kristian Leavell on Finding Calm and Becoming the Dad You Want to Be

​Watch on YouTube​

​Listen on your favorite podcast platform​

The Last Laugh

🛋️🏃‍♂️