How to Become the Dad You Want to Be When Everything Feels Loud
Staying Grounded While Becoming the Dad You Want to BeInside this issue
On My MindMost dads I talk to are not asking how to be perfect. They are asking something quieter and heavier. Who am I becoming while I do all of this? That question sat at the center of my conversation with AJ Rich. Not as a headline, but as a current running underneath everything we talked about. Anxiety. Confidence. Work. Parenting. Growth. AJ explained that becoming the dad you want to be starts with learning how to stay grounded when everything around you feels loud. Not by doing more. Not by chasing some ideal version of yourself. But by paying attention to what is already happening inside you. He talked about slowing down just enough to notice your reactions, your emotions, and your patterns. Getting curious instead of critical. Making small, intentional choices that help you stay steady rather than reactive. That kind of grounding does not eliminate pressure. It gives you something solid to stand on while you navigate it. And that changes everything. Build Emotional Intelligence Without Making It WeirdWhy it MattersMost dads feel emotions all day long but lack the language to describe them. When you can’t name what you feel, it’s hard to stay grounded in moments that matter most. AJ put it simply. Emotions are data. They are information your body is already giving you. Why it Works Research now shows that emotions often arrive before thoughts. The feeling comes first. The story comes later. When emotions go unnamed, they tend to show up as stress, irritability, or shutdown. When they are recognized, they become manageable. How to Start
Pro TipGrounding does not require deep analysis. Often, naming the emotion is enough to take the edge off. The PERMA Scan for Psychological WellbeingAJ’s doctoral work focuses on psychological wellbeing, and he uses a framework from the University of Pennsylvania called PERMA. It stands for:
Why it Matters Wellbeing is not one thing. You can look successful and still feel off. PERMA helps you see where your life is supporting you and where it is quietly draining you. How to Use It Once a month, ask yourself:
Why it WorksAJ shared that most people feel psychologically well when three or four of these areas are moving in a positive direction. This shifts the goal from perfection to balance. Time to Sprint: Rebuild Confidence by Starting at HomeWhen dads feel uncertain or stuck at work, AJ often starts somewhere unexpected: home. Why it MattersConfidence and control tend to rise and fall together. When everything feels unstable professionally, it helps to regain traction where you still have influence. How to Do It This Week
AJ shared that confidence often returns when dads experience themselves showing up consistently at home. That confidence carries into work, decisions, and risk taking. Pro TipYou are not aiming for perfect parenting. You are aiming for engaged parenting. Kids feel the difference. Your MoveWhen everything feels loud, what helps you feel most grounded? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response. Connect with AJAJ Rich is a licensed marriage and family therapist who works almost exclusively with men. He helps dads navigate anxiety, identity, emotional intelligence, and sustainable growth. Learn more at: ajrichtherapy.com On the Show This WeekContinue the ConversationThis is a conversation for dads who feel pulled in too many directions and are trying to figure out how to stay steady without checking out. AJ and I talk about why everything feels louder right now, how confidence quietly erodes, and what it actually looks like to grow as a dad without burning yourself out. We dig into emotional intelligence in plain language, the pressure men carry without naming, and the small shifts that help you feel more grounded in your work, your family, and yourself. If you have ever felt like you are doing a lot but still wondering if you are becoming the person you want to be, this episode will hit home. Check it Out🎧 AJ Rich on Becoming the Dad You Want to Be in an Anxious World Listen on your favorite podcast platform The Last LaughTwo comedy legends. One dad joke contest. |
