Dec. 30, 2025
Paul Terrell on Grit, Recovery, and Rebuilding Life as a Dad
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How do you rebuild your life when everything breaks at once and you still have kids who need you every minute of the day?
After a devastating spinal injury and years of recovery, Paul Terrell became a stay at home dad who had to relearn how to walk, talk, type, and parent with new physical limitations. Later he returned to work and eventually became a top performing enterprise account executive in PropTech and FinTech. His story is one of grit, patience, perseverance, and a deep commitment to family.
Paul shares how to:
• Relearn everyday life while caring for two young kids
• Parent with physical limitations and find creative ways to adapt
• Build mental toughness when progress feels painfully slow
• Return to the workforce with confidence after years away
• Use AI, systems, and prep work to compete at a high level again
• Navigate the emotional shift from being the primary caregiver to traveling constantly for work
• Strengthen a marriage through shared effort, support, and role changes
• Turn stay at home parenting into quantifiable wins on a resume
• Carry lessons from parenting into sales, negotiation, and leadership
• Protect health, energy, and family time in a metrics driven role
• Help kids understand work, money, teamwork, and responsibility
• Break big goals into smaller ones and use data to track personal progress
Paul’s story is honest, inspiring, and packed with practical wisdom for any dad rebuilding after a tough season or trying to figure out what comes next.
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Paul Terrell on Grit, Recovery, and Rebuilding Life as a Dad
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[00:00:00] It's all a negotiation and I would say toddlers are, by far, a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their, their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.
[00:00:19]
[00:00:26] Michael: Welcome to Gap to Gig, the show for dads reimagining how work fits into life, not the other way around. That's where we talk about what comes next, how to make sense of the in-between and who we become in the process. I'm your host, Michael Jacobs, and today my guest is Paul Terrell, a stay home dad from Texas, whose story is one of grit, growth, and perspective.
[00:00:43] After building a successful career in tech and sales, Paul faced a life-changing health challenge that required years of recovery. And during that time, he also became a full-time caregiver for his two young kids. He eventually reentered the workforce, not only regaining his footing, but surpassing his sales goals as an enterprise account executive in the PropTech and FinTech space.
[00:01:01] Today's gonna share with us how fatherhood, resilience, and creativity helped him rebuild both his confidence and his career. Paul, welcome to the show. Glad to have you here.
[00:01:09] Paul: Thanks for having me. Glad to be here.
[00:01:12] Michael: Appreciate that. Really looking forward to diving deep on your story here. And I kinda wanna start out with what life looked like for you before you had your health break and what changed when everything suddenly hit pause.
[00:01:27] Paul: Life was a lot faster, I can tell you that. Was in sales. We didn't have kids at the time. Me and my wife, we were both making a lot of money, doing a lot of traveling and having fun. It was, you know. Right before our 30s, so
[00:01:43] Michael: Right.
[00:01:43] Paul: that came to a, you know, pretty sudden halt after, you know, basically crushed two vertebrae in my neck in an accident and had a surgical accident right after that.
[00:01:55] So, yeah, it was a quick halt to everything to life. Kinda puts everything into perspective.
[00:02:04] Michael: I bet, I bet. When you look back at that time, like it took you, it was about, if I remember correctly, somewhere around six years of recovery of, and I suppose that recovery is probably an ongoing thing when you break vertebrae and
[00:02:21] Paul: Yeah,
[00:02:21] Michael: have surgical.
[00:02:22] Paul: Still an ongoing thing. I had my most recent surgery last, well, last June. I had another smaller one like three months ago, but I don't consider that a surgery. It wasn't, you know, fully under, it was just the light sedation. So,
[00:02:37] Michael: Got it. Got it.
[00:02:38] Paul: But after that, it's always hours and hours of PT.
[00:02:42] Michael: Yep.
[00:02:43] Paul: I've done thousands, thousands upon thousands.
[00:02:48] Michael: And while, while you were going through all this, through your recovery. You became a stay home parent, is that correct?
[00:02:56] Paul: That is, we had our daughter, Sloan. We had just moved to Seattle for my wife's job. She had just gotten a job with Amazon Web Services, so moved up to Seattle, had our daughter. Yeah, and that was a pretty, pretty rewarding and also another really big change in our life.
[00:03:15] Michael: Yeah.
[00:03:17] Paul: But in a really good way.
[00:03:18] Michael: Yeah. What about that time then when you were kind of balancing your recovery with parenting, what stood out to you most about that time in your life?
[00:03:30] Paul: I would have to say learning to do all of the dad stuff, but with limitations. So like learning ways around, you know, certain ways around to do things like as a handicapped person. Didn't really have, have pretty good use of my left arm now, but then I didn't. So it was a lot of trial and error and learning and, but I eventually, eventually got the hang of it.
[00:03:58] Michael: Yeah. And you described to me previously about relearning to walk, talk, type, while still raising your kids. What kind of kept you motivated through those moments when progress felt slow because your recovery was not like a, you going for surgery and you're fine the next week. Like this is a, like you said, an ongoing process.
[00:04:18] So, what, what kind of kept you motivated through all of it?
[00:04:23] Paul: Really, I would say my wife and then my faith. And then also kind of how I was brought up, my dad was an Olympic wrestler, so,
[00:04:33] Michael: Oh, wow.
[00:04:33] Paul: I wrestled from the time I was like two and a half and mentally tough has always been like, you know, big, big focus in the Terrell household growing
[00:04:43] Michael: up, so,
[00:04:45] Paul: My first like big, big surgery where I had the halo drilled into my skull and was in there for, I guess close to like three weeks and it was kind of at that time, dad came in, had a talk with me. He's like, it's just like everything else in life. Like, it's just like wrestling. You're gonna have to get good at it. Life's gonna be different. And it certainly has, but you learn to, you know, work within your, your limitations and kind of accept some of the, you know, the bigger changes of like physical activity, like I'm definitely not gonna wrestle or
[00:05:20] Michael: Sure.
[00:05:21] Paul: go wakeboarding or skiing, but
[00:05:23] Michael: Right.
[00:05:24] Paul: you know. Got into gaming, some other stuff and it just got, kind of brought me that perspective that I was looking for. I was going through it mentally at first, you know, it's was really, really big change. And then being laid up in the hospital for, for three weeks when my wife really couldn't be there 'cause she had just started a job.
[00:05:43] She was there for the initial surgery and then had to fly to Austin. So it was just a lot of alone time to just like assess and be like, you know, I can get through this. This is not. It's not a life ender. I'm here. Just keep going.
[00:06:00] Michael: That's such an important mindset, I think, especially in such an extreme situation where you're, you are in a hospital, but it also, I imagine, you kept that mindset as throughout your recovery, not just in the beginning stages, but as you were starting to raise your first child as you were starting to reacquaint to what your new normal life would be. That to have that mentality of it's going to be okay. I'm going to get through this. I can do this.
[00:06:30] Paul: Especially during potty training.
[00:06:33] Michael: Yeah.
[00:06:33] Paul: There's so many times when we took, my son just got out of diapers that, you know, cleaning the mattress and the, the pad underneath it and the comforter and everything every morning for, for a while was getting, was getting on my nerves, but
[00:06:49] Michael: Right.
[00:06:50] Paul: you know, definitely we stuck it out and haven't had an accident in three weeks.
[00:06:55] Michael: Amazing. Congrats.
[00:06:56] Paul: Big milestone that and he's out of our mom and dad's bedroom, so we have our room back.
[00:07:02] Michael: Amazing.
[00:07:03] Paul: So yeah, some big changes prior to the move.
[00:07:05] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:07:06] Paul: That I had to do some dad dunks before. For the new house. I don't wanna, I don't wanna share the room anymore.
[00:07:15] Michael: Right, I hear you on that. Are there any habits from your, your rehab years, like from physical therapy or any of your other, like neurocognitive work that you still apply in your professional life?
[00:07:27] Paul: That's a good question. Any habits that I would apply my personal life. Not so much from the actual like rehabilitation standpoint, but from like the mindset that I'm in during that.
[00:07:41] Michael: Yeah.
[00:07:43] Paul: Like as far as exercises and stuff like that, like yeah, I do some of the mental exercises and some of like the, before I type I'll do like, have my little, just little ball that you can work your fingers and mine are usually like pretty rigid, but after I get 'em going, it's, it's fine, but really the mindset of just like, this is gonna hurt.
[00:08:03] Michael: Yep.
[00:08:03] Paul: It's gonna suck, but you're gonna get through it and it's gonna be over, and more than likely there's gonna be a positive outcome.
[00:08:11] Michael: Right.
[00:08:11] Paul: And that's kind of how I took every demo
[00:08:15] Michael: Yeah,
[00:08:16] Paul: at Yardi too. It can get, it can get a bit taxing talking about financial accounting for two and a half hours straight,
[00:08:23] Michael: Sure.
[00:08:23] Paul: Getting in the weeds of someone with, you know, 800 account trees just for one LOB, and
[00:08:30] Michael: Right, right. So you've successfully transitioned back into work and you seem to be doing very well in your corporate life. After you took so much time away, how did you approach returning to work both practically and emotionally?
[00:08:50] Paul: I would say practically, getting to know the systems because obviously a lot had changed since, you know, Salesforce wasn't as big a deal. Like I used like Sugar and a couple other CRMs previously. And then so reacclimating myself to all the systems. My wife was deploying Salesforce at Eero which was an Amazon company, so I got to see her build that out and do test cases and put different filters and show me how to build my own reports and things like that. So that in itself I think was like the biggest prep for going back just because, you know, SaaS sales is very heavy CRM, especially at Yardi, just because of the way everything is set up. It's not like the salespeople don't have their own system, so it's, you see every single part of the sales cycle like when the account's going through implementations, you're, you know, you're on everything. So it's, it was definitely helpful from like the
[00:09:55] Michael: technical
[00:09:56] Paul: perspective to know what I was doing going into it. And I think that's kind of what gave me a little bit of an edge, too. Being able to find like the low hanging fruit by manipulating their data and, yeah, made it, made it a lot easier to go back.
[00:10:12] Michael: Smart.
[00:10:12] Paul: That and then acclimating myself with different, AI platforms. I think it was ChatGPT 3 at the time, two a half, two years ago. But acclimating my, myself, acclimating myself with that because going from like 110 words per minute typing down to like 28 is you spend a considerable amount of time. So getting, getting familiar with that, getting all my prompts in like by different state. You have different ways that I would approach selling, like selling in Chicago is gonna be way different than selling in Minneapolis type thing. So I had
[00:10:50] Michael: Right.
[00:10:52] Paul: different tones and you know, if I'm gonna be hitting a developer as opposed to a REIT or university or, you know, so I built out all those, I guess personas, or I guess they're called gems in Gemini.
[00:11:05] But within ChatGPT, I also use the Plaud dictation software. So, I would transcribe all my calls, take out all the meat, and I think that really gave me the confidence that like, I am not gonna get bogged down in data entry.
[00:11:26] Michael: Yeah.
[00:11:26] Paul: Which, I mean there, it still took me considerable amount of time, longer than everyone else, but I feel like I was able to be a lot more effective familiarizing myself just with the, with the tech and the tech stack that they're utilizing
[00:11:41] Michael: right,
[00:11:41] Paul: was like the most impactful. And I would say from an emotional standpoint, biggest thing for me was adjusting to not being like the primary caregiver. The one who did, does like, you know, gets them ready for school, does bath time, picks 'em up from school,
[00:12:01] Michael: Right.
[00:12:01] Paul: Does dinner.
[00:12:02] I do, you know, I did everything. And now my wife was the stay at home component. She was still working, but she is was at JP Morgan. It was an easier job for her lighter load and, but acclimating to that was, was hard and it was a lot of travel. I think last year I was gone for 30. It was either 32 or 34 weeks.
[00:12:30] Michael: Oh wow.
[00:12:30] Paul: If you include like the sales kickoff and stuff like that. But ended up covering a lot of territory 'cause they were consolidating at the time and there was only, it was like me and six other mid-market reps. So we handled anything well, like 20 billion in assets and then within the states that I had, I kind of lucked out. There's, you know, Chicago, Illinois. Out of Chicago,
[00:12:57] Michael: Right.
[00:12:57] Paul: there's Minneapolis, there's, it's had a lot of big cities and it was gone all the time. So that was, it was a big adjustment not being
[00:13:03] Michael: Yeah.
[00:13:04] Paul: the one putting 'em to bed at night, just emotionally.
[00:13:08] Michael: Yeah. How did you come to terms with that or come to peace with that? Or find peace with that?
[00:13:15] Paul: A lot of FaceTime,
[00:13:17] Michael: Yeah,
[00:13:18] Paul: and then seeing my wife's routine
[00:13:20] Michael: sure.
[00:13:21] Paul: different from mine, but I feel like better, so I don't know. It just, you get used to it
[00:13:29] Michael: Right.
[00:13:29] Paul: And then, you know, getting to be the one on the weekends, you know, you still get to still get the dad time.
[00:13:35] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:13:36] Paul: And then the times that I was able to work from home because it was, I didn't ever really have to go in the office.
[00:13:42] It was primarily just flying everywhere. But the times that I was able to work from home, I get to get to help out, too, so.
[00:13:47] Michael: Yep. I love how proactive you became when you took this job, like you were proactive in teaching yourself or learning more about the software you're gonna use, the Salesforce, and figuring out ways you could teach yourself AI so that you can utilize some of those things to speed up your work to bring yourself to a point where you feel more comfortable in the job.
[00:14:13] And then also being proactive on the emotional front of like, okay, now I'm gonna be away from home so often like the majority of the year, but I've got FaceTime, I've got the weekend time. Like you're not just like, oh, I need you come home from being away for a week. And now you're like, I don't know who my kids are, and I just want time to myself like you are, you found a balance that works for you, and I, I think it comes across to me at least that you succeeded in doing that by being proactive. You didn't wait for others to show you what you needed to do or tell you what you needed to do. You were like, this is what I need to figure out and this is how I'm going to do it.
[00:14:51] And you found what worked for you.
[00:14:53] Paul: And especially, especially for the kids, they're used to me being there, so the the welcome was always big and warm, and my wife obviously knew that was a big change for me and would make sure that, you know, whenever I did get home that they were "Daaaddd". So it was yeah, and it's just having that really, I guess, comfortable, fun, family dynamic is, it's, it's a lot different from the way I grew up in, in our house in, in all the good ways.
[00:15:24] Michael: That's awesome. What, what was your first big, like I'm back moment when you realized that you were capable of performing at such a high level again in your work?
[00:15:34] Paul: So I made the largest sale in my market segment's history at Yardi. A university that I signed and their medical school and was billing like right at 1.2 million a month. So it was, it was a pretty sizable deal. Got like a, I can't remember the check.
[00:15:59] It was like 90, almost 90k after taxes. But it was the,
[00:16:03] Michael: Amazing.
[00:16:03] Paul: it was the biggest sale of my life, so I was really excited about it and I
[00:16:06] Michael: That's awesome.
[00:16:07] Paul: it took almost 14 months to land just because the nature of working with the university is not like
[00:16:15] Michael: Right,
[00:16:15] Paul: working with a REIT board or you know, just a, an owner, a business owner, it's like you have the board and then you have the tech deployment team.
[00:16:27] There's just so many different teams and so many different people you had to get buy-in and approval for. And then after that it goes out to just their, their lenders and their financial institution to check everything and make sure that we're compliant. And it was, it was a long, long, lengthy sales process.
[00:16:47] A lot of flying out there.
[00:16:48] Michael: Yep.
[00:16:48] Paul: Very comfortable with that university now.
[00:16:52] Michael: I bet.
[00:16:53] Paul: That was a, it was a really, really good feeling knowing, starting, opening my, my laptop that day, knowing like, this is, it's going to close. And it closed on the last day of Yardi's fiscal year. So it was, it was awesome.
[00:17:09] Michael: Amazing. That's incredible.
[00:17:12] Paul: I had a call on Christmas Eve actually until like a four and a half hour call with their accounting team to get it over the line, and it was,
[00:17:23] Michael: Wow.
[00:17:23] Paul: we were able to make it happen.
[00:17:25] Michael: Wow.
[00:17:25] Paul: And yeah, it was just a, it was a great feeling. It was a good, good, good way to start the new year.
[00:17:30] Michael: Absolutely. Absolutely. So you clearly have found success after taking a gap between when you were working before you had kids, then you started, then you were staying home with the kids, which is kind of like your gap from work. And then you went back to work, working for Yardi, and you've clearly had some major success there.
[00:17:53] What helped you turn that gap, that time away from work, into an advantage for you?
[00:18:03] Paul: My wife. Watching her, so she stepped up in a really big way when all of this happened. So prior to all of this, I mean, I was the breadwinner, and after that, seeing her career grow and then being able to be kind of almost a part of it. We were moved together. I'd, you know, be get to hear the calls and all of that stuff 'cause she's kind of always worked from home. I feel like that really gave me, gave me an edge. Like she started as a sales, sales rep at Dallas Morning News. She was there for about a year did, I think, close to 200% to quota. Got a job at Amazon on their sales team. Same thing with the quota. Blew it out. I think she was like close to 200% within the first six months of being there. She was selling daily deals at the time for, for Amazon, and then became a sales manager from sales manager to went into ops and then watching her, like the operations side. So she's grown all the way now to, like her, her ultimate goal was to be at like a head of sales ops and now she is the head of sales ops for, for Capital One. So,
[00:19:25] Michael: That's incredible.
[00:19:26] Paul: Seeing that growth and getting to kind of learn with her how, you know, how sales org works. You know what, you know, when she did a cost per seat analysis for Uber prior to their IPO, like being witness to that process was, you know, really, really huge. Seeing like, oh wow, it's not just the salary they pay me, it's per employee is like, you know, 330k and
[00:19:52] Michael: Yeah.
[00:19:53] Paul: You know, seeing insurance costs and just everything that goes into the business and, I feel like, and what goes into a sales org was, was really advantageous to be a part of that and see it, I guess.
[00:20:04] Michael: Right. So it was more than just like learning the ins and outs of what she does. It also seemed like it was a big source of inspiration for you, right? So like figuring out, going from time away from work back into a job. Like you kind of, it feels to me like your wife inspired you or her work inspired you and she might not have been doing that directly to you of like, she might not have been motivated.
[00:20:32] Maybe she was, I don't know. But it wasn't that she was like your motivational coach, it was just seeing her do the things that she did that inspired you to seek out something greater for, for your work. But still finding a balance at home.
[00:20:50] Paul: Yeah, seeing the wins, too, and, you know, being a part of the, or hearing, you know, all the tactics and strategies she's put into it and being there for the wins, I feel like was a really big eye opener too, just to see like, oh, you know, she did, she spent two and a half years on one particular project and then it finally came to fruition, which was I think rolling out Gong or something within an Amazon entity, but just seeing the impact, impact that that makes and yeah, definitely like very, very inspiring and definitely made me hungry.
[00:21:28] Michael: That's awesome.
[00:21:29] Paul: We're a competitive couple.
[00:21:31] Michael: That's great. My wife and I are the same way. We are always trying to push each other to maybe indirectly, but to achieve as much as we can. And we like seeing each other succeed and it motivates us to, to try that much harder to, to keep moving forward. So I wanna get a little practical with you.
[00:21:53] A little more practical and talk about, so you've gone from being a stay-at-home dad to a full-time job that you are thriving at. If a dad asked you how to put being a stay at home parent on their resume without sounding awkward, how would you guide them?
[00:22:13] Paul: Without sounding awkward. There's a lot of metrics that can be pulled from parenting that equate to like a, a challenge that you've overcome or a really big win that you've had, like potty training or any number of things teaching 'em to read, write, any of that. Like it's a big win.
[00:22:38] Michael: Yep.
[00:22:38] Paul: You can quantify the win, what it took to win and I always, in mine, at least, I use, it's pretty humorous.
[00:22:48] Michael: Sure.
[00:22:49] Paul: You know, put a little bit of humor in it just because it's their humor. Self-deprecation and
[00:22:55] Michael: Right.
[00:22:56] Paul: Yeah, it is very well received. The recruiter on the phone, you know, it's fun to talk through too. It's a really good icebreaker. Like you get to talk about your family for a second and your, and your resume, and that's, you know, it makes the rest of the conversation a lot easier.
[00:23:14] Michael: Yeah, that's a great point that you, it becomes valuable not just on the resume itself, but when you get to the, the interview stages of it, to have that conversation, be able to talk about something you're so familiar with and so passionate about. It's gotta be a great way to, to start a conversation.
[00:23:32] Plus, I think, you are showing your personality, right? Like you said, you put some humor into it. You're talking about yourself, like maybe not every resume talks about being a stay-at-home parent. So this is your opportunity to kind of set yourself apart. And you can do that by showing your personality a bit on what is normally a drab document.
[00:23:52] Paul: I mean, you could even quantify the number of dirty diapers if you think about it.
[00:23:55] Michael: Yeah.
[00:23:56] Paul: On average, and that's, that's a feat in and of itself. The blowout champ.
[00:24:00] Michael: Yes. We've all gone through that.
[00:24:05] Paul: It's a stage that I'm so glad we're out of. But we have one of those Echo Shows and a picture of me came across it the other day, the blowout on my shirt. I'm like that, oh, I miss those days, but not that.
[00:24:19] Michael: Right. Not that part of those days. Yep, I still remember the last box of diapers I ever bought. I mean, I was, I felt triumphant knowing this was gonna be it or confident that it was gonna be it. And when that was it, like, I'll never forget.
[00:24:32] Paul: That's, weirdly, I do too. Walgreens in Houston. Just 'cause I didn't want him to pee in the hotel bed. Yeah.
[00:24:40] Michael: Yeah. I remember exactly what the shelf looks like. I could probably stock that shelf right now, make it look exactly the same as it was.
[00:24:46] Paul: Our kids are four years spread out and just seeing what the, the price change was from, the two, woof.
[00:24:55] Michael: Yeah.
[00:24:55] Paul: Almost double the price in four years,
[00:24:58] Michael: That's wild.
[00:24:59] Paul: but we got Costco.
[00:25:01] Michael: Yes, yes. Gotta buy in bulk. What have your kids taught you about patience, persuasion, or empathy that helps you close deals now or build relationships at work?
[00:25:15] Paul: They taught me a lot about negotiating. Having patience while you're negotiating, waiting for the other party to, to speak, not being the one always, you don't need to oversell.
[00:25:31] Michael: Yep.
[00:25:32] Paul: And I learned that with my kids. Whenever I'm negotiating bedtime, whenever I'm negotiating playtime, time on the tablet, time on the Switch,
[00:25:41] Michael: Yep.
[00:25:42] Paul: It's all a negotiation, and I would say toddlers are, by far, a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their, their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.
[00:26:02] Michael: Yeah, that's a great point.
[00:26:05] Paul: And keeping your cool while doing it, too,
[00:26:08] Michael: Yes.
[00:26:08] Paul: you, you can't show 'em your cards. The kids can't know.
[00:26:11] Michael: Right, right.
[00:26:12] Paul: Can't know they got you.
[00:26:13] Michael: Right. Exactly. Exactly. It gets harder as they get older, though. They start to figure those things out.
[00:26:20] Paul: Yeah, I'm still, I'm still at about to be eight years old in three days, my oldest will be, so.
[00:26:26] Michael: Oh, wow. Happy, happy early birthday.
[00:26:28] Paul: Two, two or three more years left, hopefully.
[00:26:30] Michael: Yes, yes. So you've worked in high-pressure, metrics-driven sales roles. How do you protect your health and your family time in that kind of environment?
[00:26:44] Paul: It's a balancing act, really. Especially in my situation. I do have a lot more doctor's appointments than a typical person. So being really upfront with that, and it was, so I used my cover letter to kind of describe what my daily life was like and things that I had overcome during the time period and what it's like, what it would be like working with me. I feel like that kind of set the stage. My manager understood that I would be away a lot. And actually being away was another thing. There's a lot, a few MRIs I missed. Being in sales, the nature of it, if it was a close to a closing call, it kind of weighed the odds and went with my gut. So, but actually taking the time when it's needed. Going, doing all my medical stuff. So for me to fly, I would have to have like a, an MRI on my brain to check my cerebral spinal fluid levels. And there's a syrinx on my brain stem, so anytime I would fly, I would have to do an MRI and then get a nerve block at the base of my skull before I get into like an altitude pressure change.
[00:28:08] Michael: Oh wow.
[00:28:08] Paul: So it was a, a lot of time management, finding the right doctor that would help me out after hours or understood that, what it's like to have the type of role that I did. And,
[00:28:23] Michael: Yep.
[00:28:24] Paul: but dedicating the time to taking care of yourself, too, is really important. I would make sure that whenever I'd have a work trip, I'd try to fly out like the day before, just to have time to acclimate. physically and mentally prep 'cause there's, there's a lot that, with my particular condition, it's an extremely painful condition. It's, it's like a bruise on your spine, but it's filled with cerebral spinal fluid instead of blood. So I had a needle go through my spine.
[00:28:56] So it's really, really, really painful and it affects, you know, how you think, it affects how you talk, it's there all the time. So I need to, you know, time to get there, get settled, hit the sauna, do the things that I need to do, do like if I need to do an ice bath, or if I need to take pain medication, or if I need to go get a nerve block, or
[00:29:21] Michael: Yep.
[00:29:22] Paul: I'd always make sure I'd have that time and have the time to adjust mentally to that, too, 'cause it's, it's a challenge in and of itself,
[00:29:30] Michael: Yep.
[00:29:31] Paul: having to take any sort of medication, which I'm not a big fan of. I typically would prefer like the blocks and stuff, so
[00:29:37] Michael: Sure.
[00:29:38] Paul: Having time to, to yourself.
[00:29:41] Michael: Yep. Yeah, it's important. It's so important as a dad to not forget about taking care of yourself and you have it to another level because you have these physical barriers that you have to account for and you have a job that requires travel, and so you have to do more for yourself. You have to make sure that you give yourself that time.
[00:30:09] But it also shows like regardless of where you are or what you do, you, you can't forget about yourself, right? Yes, you are a father to children and they are the center of everything typically. So it's like, yes, you have to take care of them, but you can't take care of them, you can't take care of your work if you don't take care of yourself first, right?
[00:30:34] And so
[00:30:34] Paul: Yep.
[00:30:35] Michael: it, it's always. I think it's important to, to know like what you're doing. Like you make sure that you put yourself, you take care of yourself as well, so that you can do the other things in your life, because if you
[00:30:52] Paul: Yeah,
[00:30:52] Michael: don't,
[00:30:53] Paul: So you can be super dad, so you can have, you know, when you get home. So you're in the right head space
[00:30:57] Michael: Right?
[00:30:58] Paul: Of like, all right, I'm, it's family time. Walking in the door, it's turn it on, it's turn dad on, and, yeah, you need the, you need the the downtime to charge your battery, so to speak.
[00:31:11] Michael: Yep. Absolutely. So I'm curious, this is kind of taking a little bit of a turn here, but I want to ask you, how do you talk about your career with your kids and what do you hope they learn from watching you rebuild and succeed in your life?
[00:31:30] Paul: So, my kids, my daughter primarily knows that me and mom have a very similar role. Mom is the one that makes it possible for people like dad to go out and sell things. So it's, she has like a basic understanding of dad's the one that goes out and actually has to, to sell the things. She's interested, that's kind of what made her interested in money. Since I was a little kid, my family, that's kind of how I was brought up, like being used to money. I started investing when I was really young, so me and my daughter have like a brokerage account and for her and showing her, you know, what her jobs in her life, so making her bed, basically executing on all the things a child needs to execute on. Her homework for the week, her tutor. Those are met. She gets $20. She choose, can either choose to invest it or choose to get a toy, and primarily she chooses to invest it unless there's something real, you know, really cool with an Ninjago, but she understands like the difference between revenue generation and what mom does. She gets that it's I have to get in front of people and talk to people and convince them to do to buy things, whereas mom is the one that makes it possible for the sales guys to go out and do that.
[00:33:00] Michael: It's such a interesting way that you have crafted work for your child in, in making it so relatable, right? Like she has her responsibilities, her tasks that, okay, they are more personal to her because it's like her bed, her homework, things like that, but the concept of completing those tasks to get to a greater goal is the same as you do at work.
[00:33:32] Paul: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Michael: It's, it's a really clever way to help your children understand the importance of what you do and how you do it, and set them up for success in life. But I also, what I really like is the way that you have explained how your wife makes it possible for you to achieve your goals and go after your dreams, right? This is not a you, you're doing everything and she does nothing or she does everything and you do nothing. This is like, it's a team effort, right?
[00:34:11] Paul: Yeah.
[00:34:12] Michael: And even if you are a single dad, and I was a single dad at one point, and to know that it takes more than just one person to raise your kids. So even if you are a single dad, it takes more than just yourself to raise your family, to support yourself, to do the things that are important in life. And whether that is through your spouse or it's through your community it could be through other family members, it could be through friends, like it's important to know and to recognize those that provide that support. For you, it's your spouse, and you do such a nice job, such a clear job of explaining that to your daughter of this is a team effort. The success that we have as a family is because we work so well together, we support each other and everything we do on a day-to-day basis is for each other.
[00:35:17] Paul: And, and she's kind of gotten to see the dynamic with my wife in this newer role with Capital One. She's, you know, been like I was away all, all of the time and getting to see the ways in which I support her, support my, my wife, I think has been really, I don't know, I think it's a healthy dynamic to model
[00:35:41] Michael: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:35:42] Paul: for them.
[00:35:43] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:35:43] Paul: They get to see like, oh, mom's working so dad, oh, you know, dad's gonna take us to Chuck E. Cheese, or we're gonna do, go play catch, or, it's, yeah, it's, since she started, I think she's on like her ninth week. It's, she's been gone most of the time and it's, they get to see the, that we step in for each other when, when we need it, you know?
[00:36:05] Michael: Yep. That's awesome. I love that. All right, one more question before we get to the speed round. For dads that are listening who are in a tough season, recovering, caregiving, are just stuck, what small step would you tell them to take first?
[00:36:23] Paul: Really think about where you want to be. So I was thinking about my, my ultimate destination, whereas I guess previously it was I would set smaller term goals. Figure out what you really want to do and then the steps to get there.
[00:36:42] Michael: Yep.
[00:36:43] Paul: It's, and how can I get there as expeditiously as possible is kinda the mindset that I adopted.
[00:36:54] And I keep a journal every day of how close I'm getting to that goal and steps that I could take, places that I've failed. And kinda just a, a small way to hold, hold myself accountable.
[00:37:09] Michael: Yep. So you, you said set smaller goals, but also to break those goals down, right? Like what are the steps to achieve those goals and then kind of keep track, right?
[00:37:22] Paul: Keep a running like a metrics data-driven guy. I always have been. And so I keep the, keep the data on myself and
[00:37:30] Michael: Yeah.
[00:37:30] Paul: how, how, how close are we to, to this goal? What, you know, what steps have I taken? What's failed? What's, what's worked, and what do I think ultimately is holding me back from getting there?
[00:37:42] And as long as you're continually evaluating and genuinely trying to execute on those, it's, it comes,
[00:37:52] Michael: Yep, absolutely.
[00:37:54] Paul: especially for me, I think the journaling component really, really helps. Like at the end of the day, it's like your Salesforce numbers in your face. You're seeing it, you have to, you write about it, so you're with that information and it becomes a, you know, more of a thought throughout the day.
[00:38:12] Michael: Yep. Absolutely. And by breaking that down into smaller steps, I imagine it makes it more approachable, more like feel, it makes you feel more like you can accomplish this, that now you kind of have a map to how do I get to that, to that goal?
[00:38:31] Paul: Yeah. And it's like your mini wins along the way. Like, execute on a goal. Like for me, I want to be ultimately like, like the head of revenue generation or revenue deployment and
[00:38:44] Michael: Yep.
[00:38:44] Paul: So what steps am I taking to get there? Like, what, what does that realistically look like in FinTech, PropTech, whatever space I wanna be in. And yeah. And then the small goals underneath it, like bracket everything out and be realistic about what it's gonna take to get there and then executing.
[00:39:09] Michael: Yep.
[00:39:09] Paul: Doing the things that you're been putting off.
[00:39:13] Michael: Love that. It's great advice, I think. Regardless of where you are in life, whether you're in a tough season or not, like making it something that you can accomplish, making it motivating for yourself. I, I think, such a smart, smart approach. Alright, I wanna flip the script now and go into our speed round.
[00:39:33] These questions have nothing to do with anything, just have some fun. It's gonna be totally different than what I've asked you before. So first question if you're ready, is what's the first kids show theme song that comes to mind?
[00:39:45] Paul: Bluey.
[00:39:46] Michael: Bluey, it's a popular one.
[00:39:50] Paul: It's always, it's always ringing in my ears.
[00:39:52] Michael: Yes. Decades from now, if we were to listen back, you'd be able to tell what era this is from, I think, based on the, the answers. What was your very first job?
[00:40:05] Paul: Power tumbling coach.
[00:40:06] Michael: Oh, wow.
[00:40:08] Paul: Yeah.
[00:40:09] Michael: I imagine that has to do with wrestling.
[00:40:13] Paul: Kind of. My sister was a Olympic gymnast. She also broke her back, but she taught like every kid in my family knows how to tumble and do flips. And so I just, it was my first job when I was 16 and it was better than getting paid five-fifty an hour I think minimum wage was. I was making 18 an hour, so
[00:40:38] Michael: nice.
[00:40:39] Paul: it worked.
[00:40:40] Michael: Yeah. Sounds great. All right. Would you rather spend 24 hours with a toddler sized T-Rex or a T-Rex sized toddler?
[00:40:50] Paul: Toddler sized T-Rex.
[00:40:55] Michael: Okay. Any particular reason?
[00:40:56] Paul: I'm gonna go with T-Rex. That sounds terrifying. A toddler that's that big? Oh man. No thanks.
[00:41:08] Michael: Fair enough. Fair enough. What's your go-to karaoke song?
[00:41:16] Paul: Bohemian Rhapsody.
[00:41:17] It depends on the, on the crowd.
[00:41:20] Michael: Sure.
[00:41:20] Paul: Nuthin' but a "G" Thang if it's friends.
[00:41:23] Michael: Awesome. Love that. What's the weirdest thing you've ever carried around in your bag, briefcase, or pockets?
[00:41:37] Paul: Naloxone when I fly 'cause they have to give me meds to fly
[00:41:43] Michael: Yep.
[00:41:43] Paul: and Naloxone is like a, a rescue device should those meds have been too much.
[00:41:49] Michael: Got it. Makes sense.
[00:41:50] Paul: It's always, it was always in my work bag, bag and always a weird thing to have to talk to TSA about.
[00:41:58] Michael: Right, yeah, can't imagine..
[00:42:00] Paul: If I fall on the ground, just, just hit me with this.
[00:42:04] Michael: Yeah.
[00:42:06] Paul: Modern medicine.
[00:42:07] Michael: Yes, it's a miracle. Paul, I appreciate you coming on the show today. It's been such a powerful conversation. For any dad who wants to learn more about your journey or connect with you directly, where's the best place for 'em to find you?
[00:42:21] Paul: LinkedIn, Paul Terrell, or on my Instagram, CrabcakesAndSteaks.
[00:42:28] Michael: I love that.
[00:42:29] Paul: That's all the dad stuff and all the professional stuff is LinkedIn.
[00:42:33] Michael: Excellent. Excellent. Well, Paul, thank you again for joining me today. I really appreciate it. You and your story are, are really inspiring. I'm grateful for your willingness to share it with us today. Not everybody has gone through what you've gone through, and then use that as motivation, right? Like you've turned that into deep success, both professionally and personally, and it's just, it's very inspiring, very motivating.
[00:43:01] So I appreciate you joining us today, so thank you. And
[00:43:06] Paul: Thanks for having me, man.
[00:43:07] Michael: Of course.
[00:43:08] Paul: Love chatting.
[00:43:09] Michael: I appreciate that. Finally, if you're a dad listening to this and trying to figure out what comes next, maybe you're in between jobs, starting something new, or just looking for more meaning in your work, head to gaptogig.com and subscribe to the Gap to Gig newsletter.
[00:43:20] If you took something valuable from this episode, send it to a dad you think could also benefit. Until next time, I'm Michael Jacobs and this is Gap to Gig where we're building work that fits your life, not the other way around.
[00:43:31]
[00:43:31]
[00:43:43] It's all a negotiation and I would say toddlers are by far a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.
===
[00:00:00] It's all a negotiation and I would say toddlers are, by far, a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their, their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.
[00:00:19]
[00:00:26] Michael: Welcome to Gap to Gig, the show for dads reimagining how work fits into life, not the other way around. That's where we talk about what comes next, how to make sense of the in-between and who we become in the process. I'm your host, Michael Jacobs, and today my guest is Paul Terrell, a stay home dad from Texas, whose story is one of grit, growth, and perspective.
[00:00:43] After building a successful career in tech and sales, Paul faced a life-changing health challenge that required years of recovery. And during that time, he also became a full-time caregiver for his two young kids. He eventually reentered the workforce, not only regaining his footing, but surpassing his sales goals as an enterprise account executive in the PropTech and FinTech space.
[00:01:01] Today's gonna share with us how fatherhood, resilience, and creativity helped him rebuild both his confidence and his career. Paul, welcome to the show. Glad to have you here.
[00:01:09] Paul: Thanks for having me. Glad to be here.
[00:01:12] Michael: Appreciate that. Really looking forward to diving deep on your story here. And I kinda wanna start out with what life looked like for you before you had your health break and what changed when everything suddenly hit pause.
[00:01:27] Paul: Life was a lot faster, I can tell you that. Was in sales. We didn't have kids at the time. Me and my wife, we were both making a lot of money, doing a lot of traveling and having fun. It was, you know. Right before our 30s, so
[00:01:43] Michael: Right.
[00:01:43] Paul: that came to a, you know, pretty sudden halt after, you know, basically crushed two vertebrae in my neck in an accident and had a surgical accident right after that.
[00:01:55] So, yeah, it was a quick halt to everything to life. Kinda puts everything into perspective.
[00:02:04] Michael: I bet, I bet. When you look back at that time, like it took you, it was about, if I remember correctly, somewhere around six years of recovery of, and I suppose that recovery is probably an ongoing thing when you break vertebrae and
[00:02:21] Paul: Yeah,
[00:02:21] Michael: have surgical.
[00:02:22] Paul: Still an ongoing thing. I had my most recent surgery last, well, last June. I had another smaller one like three months ago, but I don't consider that a surgery. It wasn't, you know, fully under, it was just the light sedation. So,
[00:02:37] Michael: Got it. Got it.
[00:02:38] Paul: But after that, it's always hours and hours of PT.
[00:02:42] Michael: Yep.
[00:02:43] Paul: I've done thousands, thousands upon thousands.
[00:02:48] Michael: And while, while you were going through all this, through your recovery. You became a stay home parent, is that correct?
[00:02:56] Paul: That is, we had our daughter, Sloan. We had just moved to Seattle for my wife's job. She had just gotten a job with Amazon Web Services, so moved up to Seattle, had our daughter. Yeah, and that was a pretty, pretty rewarding and also another really big change in our life.
[00:03:15] Michael: Yeah.
[00:03:17] Paul: But in a really good way.
[00:03:18] Michael: Yeah. What about that time then when you were kind of balancing your recovery with parenting, what stood out to you most about that time in your life?
[00:03:30] Paul: I would have to say learning to do all of the dad stuff, but with limitations. So like learning ways around, you know, certain ways around to do things like as a handicapped person. Didn't really have, have pretty good use of my left arm now, but then I didn't. So it was a lot of trial and error and learning and, but I eventually, eventually got the hang of it.
[00:03:58] Michael: Yeah. And you described to me previously about relearning to walk, talk, type, while still raising your kids. What kind of kept you motivated through those moments when progress felt slow because your recovery was not like a, you going for surgery and you're fine the next week. Like this is a, like you said, an ongoing process.
[00:04:18] So, what, what kind of kept you motivated through all of it?
[00:04:23] Paul: Really, I would say my wife and then my faith. And then also kind of how I was brought up, my dad was an Olympic wrestler, so,
[00:04:33] Michael: Oh, wow.
[00:04:33] Paul: I wrestled from the time I was like two and a half and mentally tough has always been like, you know, big, big focus in the Terrell household growing
[00:04:43] Michael: up, so,
[00:04:45] Paul: My first like big, big surgery where I had the halo drilled into my skull and was in there for, I guess close to like three weeks and it was kind of at that time, dad came in, had a talk with me. He's like, it's just like everything else in life. Like, it's just like wrestling. You're gonna have to get good at it. Life's gonna be different. And it certainly has, but you learn to, you know, work within your, your limitations and kind of accept some of the, you know, the bigger changes of like physical activity, like I'm definitely not gonna wrestle or
[00:05:20] Michael: Sure.
[00:05:21] Paul: go wakeboarding or skiing, but
[00:05:23] Michael: Right.
[00:05:24] Paul: you know. Got into gaming, some other stuff and it just got, kind of brought me that perspective that I was looking for. I was going through it mentally at first, you know, it's was really, really big change. And then being laid up in the hospital for, for three weeks when my wife really couldn't be there 'cause she had just started a job.
[00:05:43] She was there for the initial surgery and then had to fly to Austin. So it was just a lot of alone time to just like assess and be like, you know, I can get through this. This is not. It's not a life ender. I'm here. Just keep going.
[00:06:00] Michael: That's such an important mindset, I think, especially in such an extreme situation where you're, you are in a hospital, but it also, I imagine, you kept that mindset as throughout your recovery, not just in the beginning stages, but as you were starting to raise your first child as you were starting to reacquaint to what your new normal life would be. That to have that mentality of it's going to be okay. I'm going to get through this. I can do this.
[00:06:30] Paul: Especially during potty training.
[00:06:33] Michael: Yeah.
[00:06:33] Paul: There's so many times when we took, my son just got out of diapers that, you know, cleaning the mattress and the, the pad underneath it and the comforter and everything every morning for, for a while was getting, was getting on my nerves, but
[00:06:49] Michael: Right.
[00:06:50] Paul: you know, definitely we stuck it out and haven't had an accident in three weeks.
[00:06:55] Michael: Amazing. Congrats.
[00:06:56] Paul: Big milestone that and he's out of our mom and dad's bedroom, so we have our room back.
[00:07:02] Michael: Amazing.
[00:07:03] Paul: So yeah, some big changes prior to the move.
[00:07:05] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:07:06] Paul: That I had to do some dad dunks before. For the new house. I don't wanna, I don't wanna share the room anymore.
[00:07:15] Michael: Right, I hear you on that. Are there any habits from your, your rehab years, like from physical therapy or any of your other, like neurocognitive work that you still apply in your professional life?
[00:07:27] Paul: That's a good question. Any habits that I would apply my personal life. Not so much from the actual like rehabilitation standpoint, but from like the mindset that I'm in during that.
[00:07:41] Michael: Yeah.
[00:07:43] Paul: Like as far as exercises and stuff like that, like yeah, I do some of the mental exercises and some of like the, before I type I'll do like, have my little, just little ball that you can work your fingers and mine are usually like pretty rigid, but after I get 'em going, it's, it's fine, but really the mindset of just like, this is gonna hurt.
[00:08:03] Michael: Yep.
[00:08:03] Paul: It's gonna suck, but you're gonna get through it and it's gonna be over, and more than likely there's gonna be a positive outcome.
[00:08:11] Michael: Right.
[00:08:11] Paul: And that's kind of how I took every demo
[00:08:15] Michael: Yeah,
[00:08:16] Paul: at Yardi too. It can get, it can get a bit taxing talking about financial accounting for two and a half hours straight,
[00:08:23] Michael: Sure.
[00:08:23] Paul: Getting in the weeds of someone with, you know, 800 account trees just for one LOB, and
[00:08:30] Michael: Right, right. So you've successfully transitioned back into work and you seem to be doing very well in your corporate life. After you took so much time away, how did you approach returning to work both practically and emotionally?
[00:08:50] Paul: I would say practically, getting to know the systems because obviously a lot had changed since, you know, Salesforce wasn't as big a deal. Like I used like Sugar and a couple other CRMs previously. And then so reacclimating myself to all the systems. My wife was deploying Salesforce at Eero which was an Amazon company, so I got to see her build that out and do test cases and put different filters and show me how to build my own reports and things like that. So that in itself I think was like the biggest prep for going back just because, you know, SaaS sales is very heavy CRM, especially at Yardi, just because of the way everything is set up. It's not like the salespeople don't have their own system, so it's, you see every single part of the sales cycle like when the account's going through implementations, you're, you know, you're on everything. So it's, it was definitely helpful from like the
[00:09:55] Michael: technical
[00:09:56] Paul: perspective to know what I was doing going into it. And I think that's kind of what gave me a little bit of an edge, too. Being able to find like the low hanging fruit by manipulating their data and, yeah, made it, made it a lot easier to go back.
[00:10:12] Michael: Smart.
[00:10:12] Paul: That and then acclimating myself with different, AI platforms. I think it was ChatGPT 3 at the time, two a half, two years ago. But acclimating my, myself, acclimating myself with that because going from like 110 words per minute typing down to like 28 is you spend a considerable amount of time. So getting, getting familiar with that, getting all my prompts in like by different state. You have different ways that I would approach selling, like selling in Chicago is gonna be way different than selling in Minneapolis type thing. So I had
[00:10:50] Michael: Right.
[00:10:52] Paul: different tones and you know, if I'm gonna be hitting a developer as opposed to a REIT or university or, you know, so I built out all those, I guess personas, or I guess they're called gems in Gemini.
[00:11:05] But within ChatGPT, I also use the Plaud dictation software. So, I would transcribe all my calls, take out all the meat, and I think that really gave me the confidence that like, I am not gonna get bogged down in data entry.
[00:11:26] Michael: Yeah.
[00:11:26] Paul: Which, I mean there, it still took me considerable amount of time, longer than everyone else, but I feel like I was able to be a lot more effective familiarizing myself just with the, with the tech and the tech stack that they're utilizing
[00:11:41] Michael: right,
[00:11:41] Paul: was like the most impactful. And I would say from an emotional standpoint, biggest thing for me was adjusting to not being like the primary caregiver. The one who did, does like, you know, gets them ready for school, does bath time, picks 'em up from school,
[00:12:01] Michael: Right.
[00:12:01] Paul: Does dinner.
[00:12:02] I do, you know, I did everything. And now my wife was the stay at home component. She was still working, but she is was at JP Morgan. It was an easier job for her lighter load and, but acclimating to that was, was hard and it was a lot of travel. I think last year I was gone for 30. It was either 32 or 34 weeks.
[00:12:30] Michael: Oh wow.
[00:12:30] Paul: If you include like the sales kickoff and stuff like that. But ended up covering a lot of territory 'cause they were consolidating at the time and there was only, it was like me and six other mid-market reps. So we handled anything well, like 20 billion in assets and then within the states that I had, I kind of lucked out. There's, you know, Chicago, Illinois. Out of Chicago,
[00:12:57] Michael: Right.
[00:12:57] Paul: there's Minneapolis, there's, it's had a lot of big cities and it was gone all the time. So that was, it was a big adjustment not being
[00:13:03] Michael: Yeah.
[00:13:04] Paul: the one putting 'em to bed at night, just emotionally.
[00:13:08] Michael: Yeah. How did you come to terms with that or come to peace with that? Or find peace with that?
[00:13:15] Paul: A lot of FaceTime,
[00:13:17] Michael: Yeah,
[00:13:18] Paul: and then seeing my wife's routine
[00:13:20] Michael: sure.
[00:13:21] Paul: different from mine, but I feel like better, so I don't know. It just, you get used to it
[00:13:29] Michael: Right.
[00:13:29] Paul: And then, you know, getting to be the one on the weekends, you know, you still get to still get the dad time.
[00:13:35] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:13:36] Paul: And then the times that I was able to work from home because it was, I didn't ever really have to go in the office.
[00:13:42] It was primarily just flying everywhere. But the times that I was able to work from home, I get to get to help out, too, so.
[00:13:47] Michael: Yep. I love how proactive you became when you took this job, like you were proactive in teaching yourself or learning more about the software you're gonna use, the Salesforce, and figuring out ways you could teach yourself AI so that you can utilize some of those things to speed up your work to bring yourself to a point where you feel more comfortable in the job.
[00:14:13] And then also being proactive on the emotional front of like, okay, now I'm gonna be away from home so often like the majority of the year, but I've got FaceTime, I've got the weekend time. Like you're not just like, oh, I need you come home from being away for a week. And now you're like, I don't know who my kids are, and I just want time to myself like you are, you found a balance that works for you, and I, I think it comes across to me at least that you succeeded in doing that by being proactive. You didn't wait for others to show you what you needed to do or tell you what you needed to do. You were like, this is what I need to figure out and this is how I'm going to do it.
[00:14:51] And you found what worked for you.
[00:14:53] Paul: And especially, especially for the kids, they're used to me being there, so the the welcome was always big and warm, and my wife obviously knew that was a big change for me and would make sure that, you know, whenever I did get home that they were "Daaaddd". So it was yeah, and it's just having that really, I guess, comfortable, fun, family dynamic is, it's, it's a lot different from the way I grew up in, in our house in, in all the good ways.
[00:15:24] Michael: That's awesome. What, what was your first big, like I'm back moment when you realized that you were capable of performing at such a high level again in your work?
[00:15:34] Paul: So I made the largest sale in my market segment's history at Yardi. A university that I signed and their medical school and was billing like right at 1.2 million a month. So it was, it was a pretty sizable deal. Got like a, I can't remember the check.
[00:15:59] It was like 90, almost 90k after taxes. But it was the,
[00:16:03] Michael: Amazing.
[00:16:03] Paul: it was the biggest sale of my life, so I was really excited about it and I
[00:16:06] Michael: That's awesome.
[00:16:07] Paul: it took almost 14 months to land just because the nature of working with the university is not like
[00:16:15] Michael: Right,
[00:16:15] Paul: working with a REIT board or you know, just a, an owner, a business owner, it's like you have the board and then you have the tech deployment team.
[00:16:27] There's just so many different teams and so many different people you had to get buy-in and approval for. And then after that it goes out to just their, their lenders and their financial institution to check everything and make sure that we're compliant. And it was, it was a long, long, lengthy sales process.
[00:16:47] A lot of flying out there.
[00:16:48] Michael: Yep.
[00:16:48] Paul: Very comfortable with that university now.
[00:16:52] Michael: I bet.
[00:16:53] Paul: That was a, it was a really, really good feeling knowing, starting, opening my, my laptop that day, knowing like, this is, it's going to close. And it closed on the last day of Yardi's fiscal year. So it was, it was awesome.
[00:17:09] Michael: Amazing. That's incredible.
[00:17:12] Paul: I had a call on Christmas Eve actually until like a four and a half hour call with their accounting team to get it over the line, and it was,
[00:17:23] Michael: Wow.
[00:17:23] Paul: we were able to make it happen.
[00:17:25] Michael: Wow.
[00:17:25] Paul: And yeah, it was just a, it was a great feeling. It was a good, good, good way to start the new year.
[00:17:30] Michael: Absolutely. Absolutely. So you clearly have found success after taking a gap between when you were working before you had kids, then you started, then you were staying home with the kids, which is kind of like your gap from work. And then you went back to work, working for Yardi, and you've clearly had some major success there.
[00:17:53] What helped you turn that gap, that time away from work, into an advantage for you?
[00:18:03] Paul: My wife. Watching her, so she stepped up in a really big way when all of this happened. So prior to all of this, I mean, I was the breadwinner, and after that, seeing her career grow and then being able to be kind of almost a part of it. We were moved together. I'd, you know, be get to hear the calls and all of that stuff 'cause she's kind of always worked from home. I feel like that really gave me, gave me an edge. Like she started as a sales, sales rep at Dallas Morning News. She was there for about a year did, I think, close to 200% to quota. Got a job at Amazon on their sales team. Same thing with the quota. Blew it out. I think she was like close to 200% within the first six months of being there. She was selling daily deals at the time for, for Amazon, and then became a sales manager from sales manager to went into ops and then watching her, like the operations side. So she's grown all the way now to, like her, her ultimate goal was to be at like a head of sales ops and now she is the head of sales ops for, for Capital One. So,
[00:19:25] Michael: That's incredible.
[00:19:26] Paul: Seeing that growth and getting to kind of learn with her how, you know, how sales org works. You know what, you know, when she did a cost per seat analysis for Uber prior to their IPO, like being witness to that process was, you know, really, really huge. Seeing like, oh wow, it's not just the salary they pay me, it's per employee is like, you know, 330k and
[00:19:52] Michael: Yeah.
[00:19:53] Paul: You know, seeing insurance costs and just everything that goes into the business and, I feel like, and what goes into a sales org was, was really advantageous to be a part of that and see it, I guess.
[00:20:04] Michael: Right. So it was more than just like learning the ins and outs of what she does. It also seemed like it was a big source of inspiration for you, right? So like figuring out, going from time away from work back into a job. Like you kind of, it feels to me like your wife inspired you or her work inspired you and she might not have been doing that directly to you of like, she might not have been motivated.
[00:20:32] Maybe she was, I don't know. But it wasn't that she was like your motivational coach, it was just seeing her do the things that she did that inspired you to seek out something greater for, for your work. But still finding a balance at home.
[00:20:50] Paul: Yeah, seeing the wins, too, and, you know, being a part of the, or hearing, you know, all the tactics and strategies she's put into it and being there for the wins, I feel like was a really big eye opener too, just to see like, oh, you know, she did, she spent two and a half years on one particular project and then it finally came to fruition, which was I think rolling out Gong or something within an Amazon entity, but just seeing the impact, impact that that makes and yeah, definitely like very, very inspiring and definitely made me hungry.
[00:21:28] Michael: That's awesome.
[00:21:29] Paul: We're a competitive couple.
[00:21:31] Michael: That's great. My wife and I are the same way. We are always trying to push each other to maybe indirectly, but to achieve as much as we can. And we like seeing each other succeed and it motivates us to, to try that much harder to, to keep moving forward. So I wanna get a little practical with you.
[00:21:53] A little more practical and talk about, so you've gone from being a stay-at-home dad to a full-time job that you are thriving at. If a dad asked you how to put being a stay at home parent on their resume without sounding awkward, how would you guide them?
[00:22:13] Paul: Without sounding awkward. There's a lot of metrics that can be pulled from parenting that equate to like a, a challenge that you've overcome or a really big win that you've had, like potty training or any number of things teaching 'em to read, write, any of that. Like it's a big win.
[00:22:38] Michael: Yep.
[00:22:38] Paul: You can quantify the win, what it took to win and I always, in mine, at least, I use, it's pretty humorous.
[00:22:48] Michael: Sure.
[00:22:49] Paul: You know, put a little bit of humor in it just because it's their humor. Self-deprecation and
[00:22:55] Michael: Right.
[00:22:56] Paul: Yeah, it is very well received. The recruiter on the phone, you know, it's fun to talk through too. It's a really good icebreaker. Like you get to talk about your family for a second and your, and your resume, and that's, you know, it makes the rest of the conversation a lot easier.
[00:23:14] Michael: Yeah, that's a great point that you, it becomes valuable not just on the resume itself, but when you get to the, the interview stages of it, to have that conversation, be able to talk about something you're so familiar with and so passionate about. It's gotta be a great way to, to start a conversation.
[00:23:32] Plus, I think, you are showing your personality, right? Like you said, you put some humor into it. You're talking about yourself, like maybe not every resume talks about being a stay-at-home parent. So this is your opportunity to kind of set yourself apart. And you can do that by showing your personality a bit on what is normally a drab document.
[00:23:52] Paul: I mean, you could even quantify the number of dirty diapers if you think about it.
[00:23:55] Michael: Yeah.
[00:23:56] Paul: On average, and that's, that's a feat in and of itself. The blowout champ.
[00:24:00] Michael: Yes. We've all gone through that.
[00:24:05] Paul: It's a stage that I'm so glad we're out of. But we have one of those Echo Shows and a picture of me came across it the other day, the blowout on my shirt. I'm like that, oh, I miss those days, but not that.
[00:24:19] Michael: Right. Not that part of those days. Yep, I still remember the last box of diapers I ever bought. I mean, I was, I felt triumphant knowing this was gonna be it or confident that it was gonna be it. And when that was it, like, I'll never forget.
[00:24:32] Paul: That's, weirdly, I do too. Walgreens in Houston. Just 'cause I didn't want him to pee in the hotel bed. Yeah.
[00:24:40] Michael: Yeah. I remember exactly what the shelf looks like. I could probably stock that shelf right now, make it look exactly the same as it was.
[00:24:46] Paul: Our kids are four years spread out and just seeing what the, the price change was from, the two, woof.
[00:24:55] Michael: Yeah.
[00:24:55] Paul: Almost double the price in four years,
[00:24:58] Michael: That's wild.
[00:24:59] Paul: but we got Costco.
[00:25:01] Michael: Yes, yes. Gotta buy in bulk. What have your kids taught you about patience, persuasion, or empathy that helps you close deals now or build relationships at work?
[00:25:15] Paul: They taught me a lot about negotiating. Having patience while you're negotiating, waiting for the other party to, to speak, not being the one always, you don't need to oversell.
[00:25:31] Michael: Yep.
[00:25:32] Paul: And I learned that with my kids. Whenever I'm negotiating bedtime, whenever I'm negotiating playtime, time on the tablet, time on the Switch,
[00:25:41] Michael: Yep.
[00:25:42] Paul: It's all a negotiation, and I would say toddlers are, by far, a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their, their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.
[00:26:02] Michael: Yeah, that's a great point.
[00:26:05] Paul: And keeping your cool while doing it, too,
[00:26:08] Michael: Yes.
[00:26:08] Paul: you, you can't show 'em your cards. The kids can't know.
[00:26:11] Michael: Right, right.
[00:26:12] Paul: Can't know they got you.
[00:26:13] Michael: Right. Exactly. Exactly. It gets harder as they get older, though. They start to figure those things out.
[00:26:20] Paul: Yeah, I'm still, I'm still at about to be eight years old in three days, my oldest will be, so.
[00:26:26] Michael: Oh, wow. Happy, happy early birthday.
[00:26:28] Paul: Two, two or three more years left, hopefully.
[00:26:30] Michael: Yes, yes. So you've worked in high-pressure, metrics-driven sales roles. How do you protect your health and your family time in that kind of environment?
[00:26:44] Paul: It's a balancing act, really. Especially in my situation. I do have a lot more doctor's appointments than a typical person. So being really upfront with that, and it was, so I used my cover letter to kind of describe what my daily life was like and things that I had overcome during the time period and what it's like, what it would be like working with me. I feel like that kind of set the stage. My manager understood that I would be away a lot. And actually being away was another thing. There's a lot, a few MRIs I missed. Being in sales, the nature of it, if it was a close to a closing call, it kind of weighed the odds and went with my gut. So, but actually taking the time when it's needed. Going, doing all my medical stuff. So for me to fly, I would have to have like a, an MRI on my brain to check my cerebral spinal fluid levels. And there's a syrinx on my brain stem, so anytime I would fly, I would have to do an MRI and then get a nerve block at the base of my skull before I get into like an altitude pressure change.
[00:28:08] Michael: Oh wow.
[00:28:08] Paul: So it was a, a lot of time management, finding the right doctor that would help me out after hours or understood that, what it's like to have the type of role that I did. And,
[00:28:23] Michael: Yep.
[00:28:24] Paul: but dedicating the time to taking care of yourself, too, is really important. I would make sure that whenever I'd have a work trip, I'd try to fly out like the day before, just to have time to acclimate. physically and mentally prep 'cause there's, there's a lot that, with my particular condition, it's an extremely painful condition. It's, it's like a bruise on your spine, but it's filled with cerebral spinal fluid instead of blood. So I had a needle go through my spine.
[00:28:56] So it's really, really, really painful and it affects, you know, how you think, it affects how you talk, it's there all the time. So I need to, you know, time to get there, get settled, hit the sauna, do the things that I need to do, do like if I need to do an ice bath, or if I need to take pain medication, or if I need to go get a nerve block, or
[00:29:21] Michael: Yep.
[00:29:22] Paul: I'd always make sure I'd have that time and have the time to adjust mentally to that, too, 'cause it's, it's a challenge in and of itself,
[00:29:30] Michael: Yep.
[00:29:31] Paul: having to take any sort of medication, which I'm not a big fan of. I typically would prefer like the blocks and stuff, so
[00:29:37] Michael: Sure.
[00:29:38] Paul: Having time to, to yourself.
[00:29:41] Michael: Yep. Yeah, it's important. It's so important as a dad to not forget about taking care of yourself and you have it to another level because you have these physical barriers that you have to account for and you have a job that requires travel, and so you have to do more for yourself. You have to make sure that you give yourself that time.
[00:30:09] But it also shows like regardless of where you are or what you do, you, you can't forget about yourself, right? Yes, you are a father to children and they are the center of everything typically. So it's like, yes, you have to take care of them, but you can't take care of them, you can't take care of your work if you don't take care of yourself first, right?
[00:30:34] And so
[00:30:34] Paul: Yep.
[00:30:35] Michael: it, it's always. I think it's important to, to know like what you're doing. Like you make sure that you put yourself, you take care of yourself as well, so that you can do the other things in your life, because if you
[00:30:52] Paul: Yeah,
[00:30:52] Michael: don't,
[00:30:53] Paul: So you can be super dad, so you can have, you know, when you get home. So you're in the right head space
[00:30:57] Michael: Right?
[00:30:58] Paul: Of like, all right, I'm, it's family time. Walking in the door, it's turn it on, it's turn dad on, and, yeah, you need the, you need the the downtime to charge your battery, so to speak.
[00:31:11] Michael: Yep. Absolutely. So I'm curious, this is kind of taking a little bit of a turn here, but I want to ask you, how do you talk about your career with your kids and what do you hope they learn from watching you rebuild and succeed in your life?
[00:31:30] Paul: So, my kids, my daughter primarily knows that me and mom have a very similar role. Mom is the one that makes it possible for people like dad to go out and sell things. So it's, she has like a basic understanding of dad's the one that goes out and actually has to, to sell the things. She's interested, that's kind of what made her interested in money. Since I was a little kid, my family, that's kind of how I was brought up, like being used to money. I started investing when I was really young, so me and my daughter have like a brokerage account and for her and showing her, you know, what her jobs in her life, so making her bed, basically executing on all the things a child needs to execute on. Her homework for the week, her tutor. Those are met. She gets $20. She choose, can either choose to invest it or choose to get a toy, and primarily she chooses to invest it unless there's something real, you know, really cool with an Ninjago, but she understands like the difference between revenue generation and what mom does. She gets that it's I have to get in front of people and talk to people and convince them to do to buy things, whereas mom is the one that makes it possible for the sales guys to go out and do that.
[00:33:00] Michael: It's such a interesting way that you have crafted work for your child in, in making it so relatable, right? Like she has her responsibilities, her tasks that, okay, they are more personal to her because it's like her bed, her homework, things like that, but the concept of completing those tasks to get to a greater goal is the same as you do at work.
[00:33:32] Paul: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Michael: It's, it's a really clever way to help your children understand the importance of what you do and how you do it, and set them up for success in life. But I also, what I really like is the way that you have explained how your wife makes it possible for you to achieve your goals and go after your dreams, right? This is not a you, you're doing everything and she does nothing or she does everything and you do nothing. This is like, it's a team effort, right?
[00:34:11] Paul: Yeah.
[00:34:12] Michael: And even if you are a single dad, and I was a single dad at one point, and to know that it takes more than just one person to raise your kids. So even if you are a single dad, it takes more than just yourself to raise your family, to support yourself, to do the things that are important in life. And whether that is through your spouse or it's through your community it could be through other family members, it could be through friends, like it's important to know and to recognize those that provide that support. For you, it's your spouse, and you do such a nice job, such a clear job of explaining that to your daughter of this is a team effort. The success that we have as a family is because we work so well together, we support each other and everything we do on a day-to-day basis is for each other.
[00:35:17] Paul: And, and she's kind of gotten to see the dynamic with my wife in this newer role with Capital One. She's, you know, been like I was away all, all of the time and getting to see the ways in which I support her, support my, my wife, I think has been really, I don't know, I think it's a healthy dynamic to model
[00:35:41] Michael: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:35:42] Paul: for them.
[00:35:43] Michael: Absolutely.
[00:35:43] Paul: They get to see like, oh, mom's working so dad, oh, you know, dad's gonna take us to Chuck E. Cheese, or we're gonna do, go play catch, or, it's, yeah, it's, since she started, I think she's on like her ninth week. It's, she's been gone most of the time and it's, they get to see the, that we step in for each other when, when we need it, you know?
[00:36:05] Michael: Yep. That's awesome. I love that. All right, one more question before we get to the speed round. For dads that are listening who are in a tough season, recovering, caregiving, are just stuck, what small step would you tell them to take first?
[00:36:23] Paul: Really think about where you want to be. So I was thinking about my, my ultimate destination, whereas I guess previously it was I would set smaller term goals. Figure out what you really want to do and then the steps to get there.
[00:36:42] Michael: Yep.
[00:36:43] Paul: It's, and how can I get there as expeditiously as possible is kinda the mindset that I adopted.
[00:36:54] And I keep a journal every day of how close I'm getting to that goal and steps that I could take, places that I've failed. And kinda just a, a small way to hold, hold myself accountable.
[00:37:09] Michael: Yep. So you, you said set smaller goals, but also to break those goals down, right? Like what are the steps to achieve those goals and then kind of keep track, right?
[00:37:22] Paul: Keep a running like a metrics data-driven guy. I always have been. And so I keep the, keep the data on myself and
[00:37:30] Michael: Yeah.
[00:37:30] Paul: how, how, how close are we to, to this goal? What, you know, what steps have I taken? What's failed? What's, what's worked, and what do I think ultimately is holding me back from getting there?
[00:37:42] And as long as you're continually evaluating and genuinely trying to execute on those, it's, it comes,
[00:37:52] Michael: Yep, absolutely.
[00:37:54] Paul: especially for me, I think the journaling component really, really helps. Like at the end of the day, it's like your Salesforce numbers in your face. You're seeing it, you have to, you write about it, so you're with that information and it becomes a, you know, more of a thought throughout the day.
[00:38:12] Michael: Yep. Absolutely. And by breaking that down into smaller steps, I imagine it makes it more approachable, more like feel, it makes you feel more like you can accomplish this, that now you kind of have a map to how do I get to that, to that goal?
[00:38:31] Paul: Yeah. And it's like your mini wins along the way. Like, execute on a goal. Like for me, I want to be ultimately like, like the head of revenue generation or revenue deployment and
[00:38:44] Michael: Yep.
[00:38:44] Paul: So what steps am I taking to get there? Like, what, what does that realistically look like in FinTech, PropTech, whatever space I wanna be in. And yeah. And then the small goals underneath it, like bracket everything out and be realistic about what it's gonna take to get there and then executing.
[00:39:09] Michael: Yep.
[00:39:09] Paul: Doing the things that you're been putting off.
[00:39:13] Michael: Love that. It's great advice, I think. Regardless of where you are in life, whether you're in a tough season or not, like making it something that you can accomplish, making it motivating for yourself. I, I think, such a smart, smart approach. Alright, I wanna flip the script now and go into our speed round.
[00:39:33] These questions have nothing to do with anything, just have some fun. It's gonna be totally different than what I've asked you before. So first question if you're ready, is what's the first kids show theme song that comes to mind?
[00:39:45] Paul: Bluey.
[00:39:46] Michael: Bluey, it's a popular one.
[00:39:50] Paul: It's always, it's always ringing in my ears.
[00:39:52] Michael: Yes. Decades from now, if we were to listen back, you'd be able to tell what era this is from, I think, based on the, the answers. What was your very first job?
[00:40:05] Paul: Power tumbling coach.
[00:40:06] Michael: Oh, wow.
[00:40:08] Paul: Yeah.
[00:40:09] Michael: I imagine that has to do with wrestling.
[00:40:13] Paul: Kind of. My sister was a Olympic gymnast. She also broke her back, but she taught like every kid in my family knows how to tumble and do flips. And so I just, it was my first job when I was 16 and it was better than getting paid five-fifty an hour I think minimum wage was. I was making 18 an hour, so
[00:40:38] Michael: nice.
[00:40:39] Paul: it worked.
[00:40:40] Michael: Yeah. Sounds great. All right. Would you rather spend 24 hours with a toddler sized T-Rex or a T-Rex sized toddler?
[00:40:50] Paul: Toddler sized T-Rex.
[00:40:55] Michael: Okay. Any particular reason?
[00:40:56] Paul: I'm gonna go with T-Rex. That sounds terrifying. A toddler that's that big? Oh man. No thanks.
[00:41:08] Michael: Fair enough. Fair enough. What's your go-to karaoke song?
[00:41:16] Paul: Bohemian Rhapsody.
[00:41:17] It depends on the, on the crowd.
[00:41:20] Michael: Sure.
[00:41:20] Paul: Nuthin' but a "G" Thang if it's friends.
[00:41:23] Michael: Awesome. Love that. What's the weirdest thing you've ever carried around in your bag, briefcase, or pockets?
[00:41:37] Paul: Naloxone when I fly 'cause they have to give me meds to fly
[00:41:43] Michael: Yep.
[00:41:43] Paul: and Naloxone is like a, a rescue device should those meds have been too much.
[00:41:49] Michael: Got it. Makes sense.
[00:41:50] Paul: It's always, it was always in my work bag, bag and always a weird thing to have to talk to TSA about.
[00:41:58] Michael: Right, yeah, can't imagine..
[00:42:00] Paul: If I fall on the ground, just, just hit me with this.
[00:42:04] Michael: Yeah.
[00:42:06] Paul: Modern medicine.
[00:42:07] Michael: Yes, it's a miracle. Paul, I appreciate you coming on the show today. It's been such a powerful conversation. For any dad who wants to learn more about your journey or connect with you directly, where's the best place for 'em to find you?
[00:42:21] Paul: LinkedIn, Paul Terrell, or on my Instagram, CrabcakesAndSteaks.
[00:42:28] Michael: I love that.
[00:42:29] Paul: That's all the dad stuff and all the professional stuff is LinkedIn.
[00:42:33] Michael: Excellent. Excellent. Well, Paul, thank you again for joining me today. I really appreciate it. You and your story are, are really inspiring. I'm grateful for your willingness to share it with us today. Not everybody has gone through what you've gone through, and then use that as motivation, right? Like you've turned that into deep success, both professionally and personally, and it's just, it's very inspiring, very motivating.
[00:43:01] So I appreciate you joining us today, so thank you. And
[00:43:06] Paul: Thanks for having me, man.
[00:43:07] Michael: Of course.
[00:43:08] Paul: Love chatting.
[00:43:09] Michael: I appreciate that. Finally, if you're a dad listening to this and trying to figure out what comes next, maybe you're in between jobs, starting something new, or just looking for more meaning in your work, head to gaptogig.com and subscribe to the Gap to Gig newsletter.
[00:43:20] If you took something valuable from this episode, send it to a dad you think could also benefit. Until next time, I'm Michael Jacobs and this is Gap to Gig where we're building work that fits your life, not the other way around.
[00:43:31]
[00:43:31]
[00:43:43] It's all a negotiation and I would say toddlers are by far a much more difficult customer. No is always their, their their go-to answer, especially when it comes to bedtime. So it's, you know, you gotta overcome those objections and it's makes it a lot easier when you're dealing with an adult.