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Becoming a Better Communicator at Work and at Home

Inside this issue

• The platinum rule
• Lead with curiosity
• Time to Sprint: Use reading to follow their curiosity
• What’s one small shift you could make this week to communicate with more curiosity and less assumption?
• Connect with Danny
• Check Out This Week’s Episode
• The Last Laugh: Get rich quick
• But before we get to all that, here’s what’s…

On My Mind

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Most of us think communication improves when we say the right thing.

This week reminded me it usually improves when we listen better and stop trying to sound impressive.

On Tuesday’s episode of Gap to Gig, I sat down with Dr. Danny Brassell. Danny started his career teaching kids in Compton and went on to speak on stages around the world, write more than 20 books, and coach leaders on how to communicate with clarity and credibility.

What stuck with me most wasn’t a speaking tip or presentation trick. It was this idea that connection happens when people feel understood.

Danny said it plainly: “Stop talking about your successes. Start talking about your failures. Not everybody around you succeeded, but they’ve all failed.”

That mindset applies everywhere. At work. At home. With our kids. With our partners.

Communication isn’t about polish. It’s about trust. And trust is built when people see themselves in you.

Use the Platinum Rule, Not the Golden One

Why it Matters

Most communication breakdowns don’t happen because we don’t care. They happen because we default to our own preferences.

We explain things how we like them explained. We lead the way we want to be led. We assume others will adapt.

They usually don’t.

Why it Works

Danny reframed this with what he calls the Platinum Rule: do unto others as they want done unto them.

What works for you may be frustrating or overwhelming for someone else. When you adjust to the listener instead of expecting them to adjust to you, resistance drops fast.

How to Do It

• Ask yourself who the message is for before you deliver it
• Adjust tone, pace, and detail based on the person, not the topic
• Watch reactions more than your own talking points

Danny shared a counterintuitive tip from his speaking work: don’t film yourself. Film the audience. Their engagement tells you everything.

Pro Tip

If people are leaning in, asking questions, or responding emotionally, you’re aligned. If they’re distracted or checked out, change your approach.

Try Curiosity Before You Give Advice

Why it Matters

At work and at home, we often jump straight to fixing. We hear a problem and rush to solve it.

That instinct can shut people down.

Why it Works

Danny kept coming back to the idea that communication is about meeting people where they are, not where we think they should be.

Leading with curiosity signals respect. It tells the other person they matter more than the solution.

How to Do It

Before offering advice, try one of these instead:

• “Can you tell me more about that?”
• “What part of this feels hardest right now?”
• “What does support actually look like for you here?”

Then pause. Let the answer land before you respond.

Pro Tip

If you feel the urge to fix immediately, that’s your cue to ask one more question instead.

Time to Sprint: Use Reading to Follow Their Curiosity

Why it Matters

Connection doesn’t come from perfectly timed conversations. It comes from paying attention to what your kids care about and meeting them there.

That’s true with toddlers, school-age kids, teens, and adult children. The interests change. The principle doesn’t.

Why it Works

Danny’s approach to communication is simple: people open up when they feel understood.

Reading gives you a low-pressure way to enter their world. When the material reflects their curiosity, it feels collaborative instead of instructional.

How to Do It

• With younger kids, read aloud what they already love
• With school-age kids, read together or side by side
• With teens and adults, read the same thing separately and talk about it later

The format shifts as they grow. The connection stays.

Pro Tip

If reading feels like a chore to them, the content is wrong. Let interest lead and trust the process.

Your Move

What’s one small shift you could make this week to communicate with more curiosity and less assumption? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

Connect with Danny

Danny Brassell is a former teacher turned global speaker, author, and coach who helps leaders communicate with clarity, confidence, and integrity. His work focuses on storytelling, reading, and building trust without manipulation.

As a thank you to the Gap to Gig community, Danny is offering his Well Crafted Story blueprint at freestoryguide.com.

Follow Danny:

On his website: https://www.wellcraftedstoryworkshop.com​

On X: https://www.x.com/DannyBrassell​

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realDannyBrassell​

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DannyBrassell​

On YouTube: https://youtube.com/DannyBrassell

On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/DannyBrassell​

Listen to his podcast: https://rss.com/podcasts/misfits-and-crackpots/​

On the Show This Week

Continue the Conversation

This conversation goes far beyond public speaking. We talk about why people trust stories about failure more than success, how reading builds confidence at every age, and what intentional communication looks like inside real families.

Danny shares practical habits you can start today, plus grounded perspective from decades of teaching, coaching, and parenting.

Check it Out

🎧 Danny Brassell on Becoming a Better Communicator at Work and at Home

​Watch on YouTube​

​Listen on your favorite podcast platform​

The Last Laugh

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