When Your Career No Longer Fits Your Life
Redefining Meaningful Work Through Life’s SeasonsInside this issue
On My MindA lot of dads quietly carry the same question. Am I making the right career decisions for this stage of life? Not five years from now. Not ten years from now. Right now. Because once you become a parent, the equation changes. The job that once made perfect sense might start to feel different. The long hours that once felt normal might suddenly feel heavier. And sometimes you realize something unsettling: Your career might still look good on paper, but it no longer fits the life you’re trying to build. That tension was front and center in this week’s conversation with career strategist Julia Toothacre. Julia works with high-performing professionals who look successful from the outside, but privately feel stuck, burned out, or misaligned in their work. At one point, Julia said something that reframed the whole conversation: “Kids are a season… They’re not always going to be infants. They’re not always going to be toddlers.”  That idea can change how you think about work. Because if parenting happens in seasons, your career decisions probably should, too. Some seasons call for stability. Some seasons open space for change. Some seasons ask you to slow down and rethink what success means. The hard part is recognizing which season you’re actually in. The Career Seasons FrameworkOne of the most useful ideas from my conversation with Julia Toothacre was simple. Careers move in seasons just like families do. When we forget that, we start asking the wrong question. Instead of asking: “Is this the perfect job?” We should be asking: “Is this the right job for this season of life?” Why it MattersA lot of career anxiety comes from assuming every decision is permanent. But most decisions aren’t. Your kids grow. Your responsibilities shift. Your priorities evolve. Julia explained it this way: “As those seasons shift, your opportunities shift.”  Recognizing the season you’re in changes how you evaluate opportunities. The Three Career Seasons Many Dads ExperienceThe Stability Season This season prioritizes security. Maybe you have young kids. Maybe finances are tight. Maybe your family simply needs predictability right now. The goal isn’t excitement. The goal is reliability. And that’s not failure. It’s strategy. The Exploration Season This season opens when you gain breathing room. Your kids become more independent. Your schedule loosens. Your risk tolerance grows. This is when experimentation makes sense. New roles. New skills. New directions. The Alignment Season This is when deeper questions start appearing. Does this work reflect what matters to me? Is this how I want to spend my time and energy? This is where meaningful work often emerges. Pro TipThe mistake many people make is trying to live in the wrong season. They chase exploration when they need stability or cling to stability when they’re ready for change. Clarity often comes from recognizing the season you’re actually in. The Burnout Reality CheckBurnout rarely shows up the way we expect. Most people assume burnout looks dramatic. In reality, it often appears quietly. Julia described what burnout felt like earlier in her career: “My mind was so tired that it impacted my body.”  Looking back, there were warning signs. Ask yourself these four questions.
Why it Matters Burnout often appears through extremes. Exhausted one moment. Short tempered the next. When those extremes appear together, something deeper is usually off. How to Use It If you answered yes to two or more questions above: Don’t just push harder. Start asking, what is actually draining me right now? Even small adjustments can interrupt the burnout cycle. Time to Sprint: Identify Your Current ValuesIf your career feels unclear right now, Julia recommends beginning with your values. But not the surface-level version. The real version. Step 1 Write down the five things that matter most to you right now. Not what mattered five years ago. What matters today. Step 2 For each value ask one question: Why does this matter to me right now? Keep digging until you reach the real answer. Surface answers rarely reveal the real priority. Step 3 If you have a partner, compare lists. Then ask, what values define our family in this season? Career clarity often follows family clarity. Pro TipIf you’re struggling to identify your season, ask yourself this: Where is most of my time and energy going right now? Your calendar usually tells the truth faster than your intentions do. Recognizing the season often brings more clarity than trying to force the perfect decision. Your MoveWhat season of work are you in right now: stability, exploration, or alignment? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response. Connect with JuliaJulia Toothacre is a career strategist and founder of Ride the Tide Collective, where she helps high-performing professionals take ownership of their careers and navigate meaningful transitions. Before launching her coaching practice, Julia spent years working in university career offices helping students, alumni, and mid-career professionals make smarter decisions about their work. Her approach blends strategy with reflection. Instead of chasing the next title or promotion, she helps people reconnect with what actually matters and build careers that support the life they want. If you want to explore more of Julia’s thinking, check out her podcast Control Your Career, where she shares practical strategies for navigating career growth, transitions, and burnout. Follow Julia On her website: https://www.ridethetidecollective.com On her podcast, Control Your Career: https://ridethetidecollective.com/podcast/ On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ridethetidecollective On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RideTheTideCollective On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ridethetidecollective On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ridethetidecol On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliakrussell On the Show This WeekContinue the ConversationThis week’s Gap to Gig conversation with Julia Toothacre explores how dads can rethink meaningful work once life starts shifting around them. We talk about why high achievers often feel stuck despite external success, how parenting changes the way career risk feels, and why burnout often appears long before we recognize it. Julia also shares a practical framework for thinking about career decisions through the lens of life seasons, along with advice for dads navigating job transitions, burnout, or the tension between ambition and family. Check it Out🎧 Julia Toothacre on Redefining Meaningful Work Through Life’s Seasons Listen on your favorite podcast platform The Last LaughThe Jumbotron cam we never knew we needed... |
