May 8, 2026

The most important moment isn’t during the game

The Moment That Builds or Breaks Confidence

Inside this issue

The Post-Game Reset
The Confidence Loop
Time to Sprint: The Conversation They’re Ready For
When was the last time your kid surprised you with how they handled something?
Connect with Antwaun
Check out this week’s episode
The Last Laugh: Small, but mighty
But before we get to all that, here’s what’s…

On My Mind

The most important part of your kid’s game might not be the game itself.

It’s what happens right after.

This week on the podcast, I sat down with Antwaun Thompson, also known as Coach T. He’s spent more than three decades coaching and mentoring young people, and one thing came through clearly.

Confidence is becoming harder to build.

“Lack of confidence… is one of the things that I spend more time with kids now,” he told me.

Not skill. Not talent. Confidence.

And when he broke down why, it reframed how I think about what our kids are actually dealing with.

Every time they step onto a field or court, they’re trying to manage four different expectations at once:

Their parents
Their coach
Their teammates
Themselves

That’s a lot for a kid to carry.

But the moment that matters most isn’t during the game.

It’s when they get in the car and don’t know what’s coming next.

Criticism. Silence. Disappointment.

Or something that actually helps them grow.

Because in that moment, we’re either building something… or quietly tearing it down.

The Post-Game Reset

Why it Matters

Kids already know how they performed. They don’t need a breakdown in the moment. They need something they can carry forward.

Why it Works

The last thing they hear becomes the lens they use to process the experience.

As Coach T shared, “What a child needs to hear… is, ‘It was really great to see how you competed… I’m really proud.’ Leave it at that.”

That message builds confidence, resilience, and a willingness to keep showing up.

How to Do It

After any game or performance:

1. Lead with effort

“I loved how hard you competed.”

2. Keep it short

No breakdown. No critique. No “but.”

3. Let them bring it up

If they want to talk more, follow their lead.

4. Coach later

Not in the car. Not in that moment.

Pro Tip

Would you want feedback right after your toughest day? Your kids don’t either.

The Confidence Loop

Why it Matters

Confidence doesn’t come from praise. It comes from proof. Kids build belief when they see themselves handle something that matters.

Why it Works

When you give kids real responsibility, three things happen:

They take it seriously.
They think more deeply.
They start to trust themselves.

As Coach T pointed out, many kids are more capable than we assume: “A lot of kids are a lot more mature than their age.”

How to Use It

This week, give your kid one real opportunity to step up:

1. Decision Ownership

Let them make a meaningful decision that affects others

2. Planning Ownership

Have them plan something from start to finish

3. Problem Ownership

Bring them into a real situation and ask how they’d handle it

Then step back. Let them work through it before you jump in.

Pro Tip

Say this before they start: “I trust you with this.” It instantly changes how they show up.

Time to Sprint: The Conversation They’re Ready For

Why it Matters

Most kids are capable of more than we think. They just aren’t always given the chance to show it.

Coach T pointed out that “you’d be surprised how many kids are ready to have adult conversations… but they’re not given that opportunity.”

Those conversations are where confidence actually grows.

Why it Works

When kids feel heard and taken seriously:

They open up more
They think more clearly
They trust themselves more

That’s the foundation.

Minutes 0–5: Open the Door

Ask: “What’s something you’ve been thinking about that we haven’t really talked about?”

Then let them answer without rushing in.

Minutes 5–15: Guide Without Taking Over

Use clarifying questions to help them think:

“What makes that tough for you?”
“What do you think is really going on there?”
“What part of that matters most to you?”
“What do you feel stuck on?”
“What options do you see?”

Let them pause.

Let them work through it.

Your job is to help them see it more clearly, not solve it for them.

Minutes 15–20: Hand It Back

Ask: “What do you think the right move is?” or “If you had to decide right now, what would you do?”

Let them own the answer.

Bonus

Close with: “I really appreciate you talking this through with me.” No lesson needed. That moment of respect is what sticks.

Pro Tip

If you catch yourself about to give advice, ask one more question instead. That’s where the confidence gets built.

Your Move

When was the last time your kid surprised you with how they handled something? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

Connect with Antwaun

Antwaun Thompson, also known as Coach T, has spent decades helping young people build confidence, resilience, and leadership through sports and mentorship.

He’s a longtime basketball coach, nonprofit leader, and mentor who’s worked with kids from elementary school through college, helping them grow not just as athletes, but as people.

His work goes far beyond performance. It’s about helping kids become capable, grounded adults in a world that doesn’t slow down for them.

Follow Antwaun

On his non-profit, JLT Fieldhouse: https://www.jltfieldhouse.org/

On his website: https://coachtscorner.com/

On his podcast, Developing Tomorrow’s Leaders with Coach T: https://open.spotify.com/show/2EGAhBcyKyoSdwAgTv7OmH

On his other podcast, TeenSpeak - Empowering Today’s Youth: https://open.spotify.com/show/3vzYlYjNAKsoWjpKJObObH

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachts_corner/

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtscorner

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPjJRsI6602F1mGKR3NZtog

On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/coachtscorner

On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/antwaunt/

On the Show This Week

Continue the Conversation

This conversation goes deeper than sports. It’s about how confidence is built, how it’s unintentionally chipped away, and what kids actually need from us as they grow.

You’ll hear: