May 22, 2026

You’re probably measuring the wrong thing as a dad

Providing Isn’t the Same as Being There

Inside this issue

Redefine What It Means to “Provide”
The “Last Time” Lens
Time to Sprint: Catch One Moment Before It’s Gone
What’s one moment with your kids that you tend to rush through more than you should?
Connect with Shaun
Check out this week’s episode
The Last Laugh: Reeling it in
But before we get to all that, here’s what’s…

On My Mind

Most dads know how to measure success at work.

Revenue. Promotions. Output. Status.

But very few of us know how to measure success at home.

This week, I sat down with Shaun Dawson, host of the Raising Men podcast, and he put it in a way that’s hard to ignore:

“Financial security is necessary, but not sufficient. You also need emotional security.”

That’s the part most of us don’t spend much time thinking about because financial security is straightforward. You know if you’re doing it or not.

Emotional security is harder to see in the moment. It shows up later. In whether your kids come to you when something goes wrong. In how they respond when they’re frustrated. In whether they feel like they can be honest with you.

Shaun reframed something I think a lot of us have been getting wrong for a long time: being a provider isn’t just about what you bring home. It’s about who your kids experience when you walk through the door.

And that’s a much harder job.

Redefine What It Means to “Provide”

Why it Matters

Most dads default to one metric: money.

It’s clear. It’s objective. It feels responsible. but it’s incomplete.

As Shaun said, “Financial security is necessary, but not sufficient. You also need emotional security.”

Why it Works

Your kids aren’t keeping score the way you think. They’re picking up on things like:

How you respond when they’re having a tough moment
Whether they feel comfortable coming to you
What your reactions teach them about handling frustration

That’s what sticks.

How to Apply It

Shift the scoreboard:

Did I stay steady or overreact?
Did I actually listen?
Did I make things better or escalate them?

Pro Tip

Your reactions become their blueprint.

The “Last Time” Lens

We’re really good at celebrating firsts. First steps. First words. First game.

We’re terrible at noticing the last ones.

The last time they ask you to read to them.

The last time they want to sit next to you.

The last time they reach for your hand without thinking.

You don’t get a heads up when it happens.

Why it Matters

You don’t get to know when the last time is. That changes how you show up because most of the moments we rush through are the ones we’d take back if we could.

How to Use It

Pick one recurring moment in your day:

Bedtime
Dinner
Driving them somewhere

Run it through one question: if this were the last time, would I handle it differently?

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to catch yourself before you rush it.

Why it Works

It doesn’t require more time. It changes how you experience the time you already have.

Pro Tip

You won’t remember most of your workdays in 10 years, but you will remember the moments you almost skipped.

Time to Sprint: Catch One Moment Before It’s Gone

You don’t get to know when the last time is.

The last bedtime story.

The last time they ask you to sit with them.

The last time they actually want you there.

It just happens.

Why it Matters

We assume we’ll have more time. We almost always overestimate how much.

The Sprint

Tonight, don’t choose the moment. Notice it. It’ll show up:

When they ask for “one more minute”
When they want to show you something small
When you’re about to say “not right now”

When it does, do this:

Step 1: Pause instead of moving on

Catch yourself before the automatic response.

Step 2: Stay in it

No phone. No multitasking. No rushing through it.

Step 3: Let it run a little longer than usual

Just a few extra minutes.

Why it Works

You’re not creating new time. You’re reclaiming moments you were about to skip.

Pro Tip

The moments that feel small now are usually the ones you’ll wish you held onto.

Your Move

What’s one moment with your kids that you tend to rush through more than you should? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

Connect with Shaun

Shaun Dawson is a tech leader, father of two, and host of the Raising Men podcast, where he explores what it means to raise emotionally grounded boys in today’s world.

What stands out about Shaun is that he’s not speaking from a pedestal.

He’s doing the work in real time. Wrestling with the same tensions most dads feel but don’t always say out loud.

Follow Shaun

On his website and podcast: https://raising.men/

On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisingmen_podcast/

On Facebook: https://www.instagram.com/raisingmen_podcast/

On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingMen_Podcast

On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/raising-men/

On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@raisingmenpodcast

On the Show This Week

Continue the Conversation

This conversation explores what it really means to provide as a dad, beyond just financial security.

Shaun talks through the tension between ambition and presence, how ego can quietly shape the way we parent, and why the moments that feel small right now are often the ones that matter most later.

We get into: