Faisal Ensaun on Taking Ownership of Your Life and Redefining Success as a Dad

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Faisal: If you're drained every
day by the life that you're

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building, you should be reassessing.

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If you wake up every day for the next
month and you look at yourself in

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the mirror, mirror, and you're like,
I hate my life, or I hate, stop.

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As like, and I don't, I don't
care what you need to do.

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Do you need to move?

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Do you need to change jobs?

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Michael: Welcome to Gap to Gig, the show
for dads navigating the in-between season

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when work, identity, and priorities
start asking different questions.

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Here we talk about what that
season looks like and how to

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move through it with intention.

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I'm your host, Michael Jacobs, and
today's guest is Faisal Ensaun.

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Faisal is a coach, entrepreneur,
and father of two who knows

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firsthand what it means to
rebuild a life from the ground up.

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As an immigrant from a war torn
country, he's navigated addiction,

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deep personal lows, and the long
road to creating a life built on

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purpose, fulfillment, and presence.

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Over the last decade, he's coached
more than 2,000 people from students

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and stay at home parents to CEOs and
multimillionaires, and at the center

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of his work is one core idea: taking
full ownership of every role you play,

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especially as a parent, changes how
you show up in work, family, and life.

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Faisal, I'm excited to
chat with you today.

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Welcome to the show.

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I'm really glad you're here.

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Faisal: I am excited to be here.

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Thank you for having me on.

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Michael: My pleasure.

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So your story spans survival, reinvention,
now leadership, both at work and at home.

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I wanna start by going a little bit wide
before we bring this into more about

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the dads who are listening right now
and trying to find their own footing.

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And I wanna ask you, when you look back
at your early life, what experiences

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most shaped how you define success today?

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Faisal: Hmm,

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great question.

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Lots of experiences, I would say, but
if I were to kind of hone in, there,

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there were a couple experiences overall
that actually shaped how I think.

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Of course, growing up and, and it
sort of, you could call it survival.

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We didn't call it when we were
growing up that way because my,

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my parents left the, had to leave
the country because war happened.

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They had to literally leave with
their clothes on their back.

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I was a little, I was three and a half
years old, and they did their best.

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They provided for us.

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They did a lot in the process and
they got us to where we are now.

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And we kind of moved that forward,
but that, you could imagine somebody

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leaving their country, their livelihood,
their culture, all of it, and moving

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on with not a lot of support to a
different place that brings a certain

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kind of thinking in the process.

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You're not really concerned.

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I mean, consider a simple example
of your crossing the road, and

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there's a car coming towards you.

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You're holding your child's hand.

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You'll be very, you're not gonna care much
about how gentle you are with that child.

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You're gonna pull that child
and get 'em out of the way.

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Imagine your whole life is about that.

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It's about survival.

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They're gonna do their best to
keep us alive and provide for us.

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But, but there's very little
room for anything outside

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of that, and they will ask.

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Create whatever support structure
that they can and they move forward.

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And that comes with them having to deal
with their own challenges as human beings.

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It took me a while to figure that out
when I started looking at my parents.

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And, I remember, it was a couple of
moments in my adult life when I saw

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them really as human beings rather
than my parents because I saw them

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kind of broke down in that moment,
and I looked at 'em like, holy

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shoot, they're not just my parents.

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They're, they're, they're also human
beings just like me with struggling

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with all kinds of issues and everything.

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And then fast forward a few
years when the we, we came to

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the western world, to Canada.

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Well, as exciting as that was,
first of all, I couldn't even

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imagine how much abundance was here
and, and place, and that's, that

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was about close to 25 years ago.

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And, but it was pretty fast,
within a year, what set in was, and

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it's interesting how that happens
when you come to a place where

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there's survival is not at risk.

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All the things come rushing
back, or at least it did for me.

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And that's when I started, I
didn't realize it, but I went

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towards running away from life
rather than going towards life.

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And that's when addiction
and other things came in.

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Patterns of getting involved in anything
that was self-destructive from drugs,

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alcohol to it, anything else in between.

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And I didn't know what was happening.

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And it wasn't until I hit rock bottom.

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I, I, I had to pull myself out.

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Well, and actually in looking back,
in retrospect, it was, it wasn't

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me that pulled myself out because
there were lots of people who went

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in the negative direction getting
worse and maybe even possibly going

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towards suicide and other things.

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But for me, and I look at it from a
spiritual point of view, was God's

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grace that, that gave me, that, that
chance to be like, you know what?

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You need to pause.

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And I, I somehow got out of it,
and I spent the next decade trying

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to figure out what went wrong.

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Well, as obvious as it might be
now, it wasn't obvious then that,

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well, I was carrying a lot of the
emotional challenges and physical

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challenges from a life of survival
even if it was my parents carrying it.

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And on top of that, I didn't know
how to navigate as a young man

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this, this new world because I
grew up in a different culture.

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I was 17 years old when
I came to this side.

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So a lot of beliefs had set
in ways of looking at things.

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A lot of things didn't make sense
to me, so that was also a challenge.

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But in those decade, in that decade
plus, I, I started realizing a

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big thing that I needed to grow.

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I couldn't live based on my past.

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I had to move forward.

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And not only that, I started to realize
there were some advantages of my past.

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There were things that I dealt with
that many people on this side hadn't.

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So what were the advantages
that came with that?

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And then after a little while, I
actually met somebody who mentored

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me, coached me for a good six months.

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And after those six months, as difficult
as it was, as painful as it was for

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me, it wasn't an, an easy process, I,
I realized that I had grown about a

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decade plus, and I couldn't believe,
I'm like, I didn't have access to that.

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I didn't even know how to
seek that kind of support.

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And that actually pushed me towards, like,
what if I could help people with that?

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I've been at this for 20 plus years and
I didn't know what that would look like,

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but slowly I learned from amazing people
around me who helped me kind of show, and

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that's what led me to entrepreneurship.

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It wasn't really around entrepreneurship.

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It was more around, I, I wanted to, to
grow, and I wanted to share that with

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other people, whoever was on that path.

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And one, one of those
paths was entrepreneurship.

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And, and part of it also was that I
realized that I had a message that I

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wanted to share and how would I do that?

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And one of the ways to create platforms
is through an entrepreneurial path.

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And so I went on that journey and that
was, that was also incredibly difficult

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because that's when I had met my wife.

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We completely changed our life around.

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We quit my engineering
career and jumped in.

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We had our daughter within the first
couple of years of me starting my

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business and I was a primary provider.

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We had decided that my wife would
take care of the kids, and I'd be

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with, I do the, the, the business
side of things, and there was a

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lot of pressure to make it happen.

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That was about 11 years ago.

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Now, I have actually
three kids, not just two.

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So there's a new third one, too, so
maybe I didn't share that with you.

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That's, he's about 10 months old and,
and being an entrepreneur and I have two

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businesses, both are on the coaching side.

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They're not separate businesses,
but they're two separate entities.

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Being a dad of three, both my wife
and I have big families on both sides,

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responsibility on that side and actually
building a life that, that I align

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with, that I consider free for myself
and is purposeful, one that is not an

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easy feat, but it constantly requires
iterating and, and, and it's not a

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one time, oh, I built it and I'm done.

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You're always working through it and
the struggle doesn't necessarily stop.

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And, and I could say here that,
well, my life is perfect and

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stuff, that doesn't exist.

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Nobody's life is perfect, but
I've created a life that has felt

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aligned with me and a, and a path
that that works very well for me.

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And, and I feel purposeful, I feel
connected to what I've created.

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And I feel aligned with my
family all and, and I get to

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do the work that matters to me.

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To me at least, that's
smart, if, if nothing else.

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Michael: Yeah.

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That's, incredible story or journey
that you have been through, from,

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essentially from the age of three and
a half until your early forties now

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of, like, you went through things, most
people that are probably listening to

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this show have never experienced, right?

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And you have along the way, to me, it
sounds like you've redefined success

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a few times during that journey
or throughout that journey, right?

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When I think when you were overcoming,
when you were moved to Canada, first

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at 17, I think you had a different
idea or different definition of what

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success looked like than when you were
starting recovery from your addiction.

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And I think that was different from when
you started your businesses and where

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you are today of kind of aligning your
interest with what you're good at and

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also what is best for you and your family.

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And part of your interest is in
giving back and helping others.

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And I think to me, it sounds like,
you know, you've, essentially,

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leveraged your journey, right?

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It wasn't an easy journey by
any stretch of imagination.

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I can't imagine it was at any step,
but you've taken lessons from it and

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figured out a way to improve your life
going forward on each, each stage.

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And now you've got, you
know, a beautiful family.

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You've got great job where you, you're
in control of your, your livelihood.

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I'm curious, like, how did becoming
a father change the way you

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thought about responsibility and
ownership as you transition from

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essentially into this new business,
but also building this family, like how

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did having kids change how you think
about responsibility and ownership?

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Faisal: I, I mean, it has,
like you said, it has success.

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I've had to redefine success consistently,
and I watch lots of people around me.

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So, and it's interesting to see especially
people who come from my side of the

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world, it's, my journey is not unique.

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There are millions of people who
have come from that, that path.

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And I, I've often thought about like,
well, what, what helped them create and

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not create the life that matters to them?

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And they, and the interesting is
they might all believe that they're

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creating what matters to them, at
least on the surface, but, and there

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are quite a few successful people,
and that's a common trend that a lot

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of immigrants come to a place, and
they work hard and they build a life.

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And I've had family members, cousins,
lots of them built amazing businesses.

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Very successful careers.

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But underneath it all, what I saw,
that was one of the first things I

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noticed when I was kind of recovering
from that process, and I realized,

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oh, I'm not the only one recovering.

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They're recovering too, but they're
dealing with it differently.

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Well, let me backtrack.

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So they weren't, when I was kind of
going through the addiction process,

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when I were coming out, out of it, I was
noticing signs of addiction in everybody.

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It was like, oh, but it's
not as apparent as I thought

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addiction was to other things.

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And, and it's an interesting when
people make more, what do they do?

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Their addictions get
more and more expensive.

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So it might be gambling, it might be
something else, and, and it doesn't,

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and it was Dr. Gabor Maté that said that
it's an interesting world we live in.

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Some addictions, we, we put
'em in a negative category.

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Others we don't, for example, power.

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You can have addiction to power, but
we don't look at that as negatively.

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Versus if you had addiction
to, let's say, alcohol.

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We don't look at shopping
as a big problem.

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Lots of people have
big problems with that.

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Same thing, social media.

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We'll laugh at that, but
it's the same exact process.

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And the process is very simple.

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You, there's a, there's something
around you that, I mean, whether

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it's alcohol or shopping or something
else, all of them in, in moderation

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is not really a negative thing.

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It's a substance, but when you overdo it
and it starts to affect your life and you

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can't stop it, that's addiction for you.

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And what I, what I watched in that
process a lot, lots of them had

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built success, but internally I
could see signs of disconnection.

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Then slowly as you kind of watch this over
a decade, you start to see relationships

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breaking up, businesses going down or, or
lots of things, health issues coming out.

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You start to see the outer effects
of it, too, and, and so that

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actually forced me to rethink.

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I was like, well, I'm fairly motivated.

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I, I've been taught,
my parents worked hard.

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They did lots of things.

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I've been given work ethic, and I,
I have a lot of opportunities here.

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What am I gonna do?

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Well, I'm, I'm gonna be successful,
but what is gonna be my definition

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of that success on this path?

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And on top of that, I'm building
a family and the responsibilities

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that come with that.

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What, what do I wanna model for my kids?

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And the more I ask those kind
of questions, interestingly, I

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mean, those questions were asked
by my coach in the beginning.

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Then later on, it forced me to ask myself
and then like, well, even if I achieve

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something on the success side, what
do I really wanna model for my kids?

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Well, I don't wanna model success
at the cost of your wellbeing.

00:14:11.536 --> 00:14:14.386
I don't wanna model success at
the cost of our relationships.

00:14:14.386 --> 00:14:17.326
I don't wanna model success
at the cost of our freedom.

00:14:18.346 --> 00:14:23.296
And like that, to me, that seems too
costly, and I've also been privileged

00:14:23.296 --> 00:14:27.896
to watch over the past 11 years lots of
people who have created that success.

00:14:27.926 --> 00:14:32.036
And I've worked with enough
people who have it all.

00:14:33.236 --> 00:14:36.956
Time freedom, location freedom,
all the money you could ask for.

00:14:37.016 --> 00:14:40.226
You don't even know what to spend
it on, to be honest because there's

00:14:40.226 --> 00:14:41.636
nothing left for you to buy.

00:14:41.666 --> 00:14:44.496
I mean, you could buy other
things with it, but like the

00:14:44.496 --> 00:14:46.346
high is gone from buying things.

00:14:46.766 --> 00:14:50.721
Like, I've worked with clients who live
in different locations in the world.

00:14:51.231 --> 00:14:52.941
They have houses in
different parts of the world.

00:14:52.941 --> 00:14:56.481
You ask them as a question
about, well, how does that feel?

00:14:56.481 --> 00:14:57.681
It just feels normal.

00:14:58.726 --> 00:15:01.606
To them, it's not to other people, it's
a big deal, but to them it's just normal.

00:15:01.606 --> 00:15:05.536
In fact, they, they see problems in
that process, and it is like, oh, I

00:15:05.536 --> 00:15:10.186
hate it when I have to travel this, do
this, get to that place and the process.

00:15:10.186 --> 00:15:14.296
And so they kind of try to refine
that, but then when you look at the

00:15:14.296 --> 00:15:18.406
quality of their experience in their
life, they, it's like they were, they

00:15:18.406 --> 00:15:20.326
were incredibly disconnected at times.

00:15:20.831 --> 00:15:24.371
From themselves, from their relationships,
even from the business that they do.

00:15:24.491 --> 00:15:27.461
Like, you know, a lot of times they
even the business has left the high,

00:15:27.761 --> 00:15:30.911
so that's why they're trying to do
more and more, trying to be more

00:15:30.911 --> 00:15:35.091
creative, which you take that to the
extreme, you, you get the Epstein files.

00:15:36.061 --> 00:15:39.021
Take it to the extreme, well,
what, what are you gonna do?

00:15:39.021 --> 00:15:41.961
Eventually it becomes a sadistic
process of creating pain.

00:15:42.381 --> 00:15:44.541
If you've had enough pleasure,
and this is not a new thing,

00:15:44.541 --> 00:15:45.951
we've known this as human beings.

00:15:45.951 --> 00:15:49.821
For example, the Buddhists would
say that if you take pleasure to the

00:15:49.821 --> 00:15:52.581
extreme, you end up in the Naraka world.

00:15:52.641 --> 00:15:53.091
What is that?

00:15:53.091 --> 00:15:56.841
That's that hell world, is now
you have to, you get pleasure from

00:15:56.841 --> 00:15:59.811
pain only, from doing all kinds
of weird things that we wouldn't

00:15:59.811 --> 00:16:02.541
consider that normal as human beings.

00:16:02.551 --> 00:16:08.041
So, the, is, my journey has been
like being supported, coach, watching

00:16:08.041 --> 00:16:10.501
other people around me, I was
like, do I really wanna build that?

00:16:11.041 --> 00:16:16.771
But that required me to kind of be
honest and look inwards and see that

00:16:16.831 --> 00:16:21.826
like if I allowed my addictions to
move forward, I would've just built

00:16:21.826 --> 00:16:23.221
the same thing as everybody else.

00:16:24.481 --> 00:16:30.721
But, what I've gone towards more is
I, I call it a process of radical

00:16:30.721 --> 00:16:32.281
honesty more than anything else.

00:16:32.281 --> 00:16:35.071
And that's the hardest thing to do for
human beings, to be fully honest with

00:16:35.071 --> 00:16:40.411
yourself as much as people think honesty
with others is hard, it's, it's actually

00:16:40.411 --> 00:16:43.741
not as hard as being honest with yourself
because we're incredible, it's very

00:16:44.086 --> 00:16:48.496
difficult for a human being to look at
the things that we're doing that are not

00:16:48.496 --> 00:16:53.446
working, and admit that first and then
second be like, well, I wanna change that.

00:16:53.446 --> 00:16:56.656
Because both of those things, the
admission part is the hardest,

00:16:56.656 --> 00:16:58.036
which is the starting of change.

00:16:58.156 --> 00:17:01.756
And then the change requires an immense
amount of effort that your brain won't

00:17:01.756 --> 00:17:05.296
even support in the beginning because
it takes a lot of energy, not to

00:17:05.296 --> 00:17:09.996
mention the social back-, backlash of
that, that you're starting to change

00:17:10.026 --> 00:17:13.086
and will you or not have that support?

00:17:13.506 --> 00:17:16.896
So all, all those factors
got me to reevaluate what,

00:17:17.076 --> 00:17:18.426
and I'm still reevaluating.

00:17:18.426 --> 00:17:20.616
I mean, life doesn't, hasn't stopped.

00:17:20.616 --> 00:17:24.216
I'm still refining and looking for
what matters to me, but at least

00:17:24.756 --> 00:17:28.116
I feel directionally aligned to
where I'm going in the future.

00:17:28.116 --> 00:17:29.886
And I feel connected to what matters now.

00:17:30.791 --> 00:17:30.971
Michael: Yep.

00:17:31.751 --> 00:17:33.311
There's so many things
I wanna unpack here.

00:17:33.311 --> 00:17:41.321
Like you, I love the idea of how you are
trying to model for your kids, what you

00:17:41.321 --> 00:17:45.551
hope for them, or what you want for them
in terms of how you approach your work.

00:17:45.851 --> 00:17:54.271
You know, you mentioned like you don't
want to work at the sacrifice of freedom

00:17:54.301 --> 00:17:57.421
or work at the sacrifice of relationships.

00:17:57.421 --> 00:18:00.931
Like, you wanna do work that
supports those things, right?

00:18:00.931 --> 00:18:04.681
And so, because that's what
you want for your kids as well.

00:18:04.681 --> 00:18:07.831
And I think it's so easy for
us to get lost in our jobs.

00:18:07.831 --> 00:18:11.461
And, you know, you mentioned like
you can be addicted to, we talk about

00:18:11.461 --> 00:18:15.681
certain addictions, drugs, alcohol,
even shopping, you know, to some

00:18:15.681 --> 00:18:19.261
degree, but you can be addicted to,
like you said, just about anything.

00:18:19.261 --> 00:18:20.941
And that includes work, right?

00:18:20.941 --> 00:18:25.561
Like you can be addicted to
your job, and as a father, that

00:18:25.561 --> 00:18:28.051
is very challenging, right?

00:18:28.051 --> 00:18:31.861
If you get addicted to your work, you
start, the first things that start

00:18:31.861 --> 00:18:36.301
to get sacrificed are the things
that are not at work, which typically

00:18:36.301 --> 00:18:40.441
is your family, your children, your
partner, your friends, the people that

00:18:40.441 --> 00:18:42.451
are the, that mean the most to you.

00:18:43.921 --> 00:18:49.111
It's, I'm curious, like when you, in
your coaching work, do you see patterns

00:18:49.171 --> 00:18:54.661
of, for particularly for men who maybe
look successful on paper, but maybe

00:18:54.661 --> 00:18:58.221
they're addicted to their work or maybe
they're just feel disconnected at home?

00:18:58.841 --> 00:19:02.761
Is that something that's common or
is it, you know, for the most part,

00:19:03.241 --> 00:19:06.391
men kind of just kind of figure
those things out on their own?

00:19:06.931 --> 00:19:09.151
Faisal: Well, we're gonna have
to generalize a little bit,

00:19:09.151 --> 00:19:12.001
but there are certain patterns.

00:19:12.571 --> 00:19:14.341
So here's what it normally looks like.

00:19:14.341 --> 00:19:17.761
So I work with investors most of the
time, or business owners of some kind.

00:19:18.361 --> 00:19:22.651
Usually they're, they'll get connected
to me through a referral source.

00:19:22.741 --> 00:19:26.971
So, more than likely, they're having
some kind of conversation around

00:19:27.421 --> 00:19:30.751
what they're going through with
a friend or loved one, colleague.

00:19:30.811 --> 00:19:34.046
And that colleague is like,
well, you need to talk to Faisal.

00:19:36.676 --> 00:19:41.506
And usually when they come to me, it's
usually, in their mind, it's a business

00:19:41.506 --> 00:19:47.176
challenge or it is like, it's a balance
challenge or it's, it's, it's like

00:19:47.176 --> 00:19:48.826
people don't understand me around me.

00:19:48.826 --> 00:19:51.826
They don't understand the level
of responsibility I have, which

00:19:51.826 --> 00:19:54.856
might also be true at a certain
level, at a surface level.

00:19:54.856 --> 00:19:55.486
But, then,

00:19:57.526 --> 00:20:01.696
the interesting thing happens as
I dig deeper, and usually if I'm

00:20:01.696 --> 00:20:05.356
working with somebody one-on-one call,
they're going through a longer call

00:20:05.356 --> 00:20:06.796
with me, 90 minutes to two hours.

00:20:06.796 --> 00:20:12.136
And I, and I and the way I frame it
is that that's, let's, let's, and I

00:20:12.136 --> 00:20:14.956
don't know where this gonna go, but
let's figure out what you might have

00:20:14.956 --> 00:20:17.086
as blind spots or areas of opportunity.

00:20:17.476 --> 00:20:18.736
And that's what I'm looking for.

00:20:18.736 --> 00:20:22.221
Not to tell them what to do, but
let me let me ask those questions

00:20:22.221 --> 00:20:24.021
that was difficult for me to ask.

00:20:24.021 --> 00:20:28.191
My coach asked me and then later on I got
used to asking myself, let me go deeper.

00:20:28.191 --> 00:20:31.371
And usually those questions are
incredibly, ans-, difficult for them

00:20:31.371 --> 00:20:36.591
to answer, and they're not, it's not
obvious to them what's happening, so

00:20:36.591 --> 00:20:40.191
it's not as obvious to say, well, I'm
not taking responsibility for this area.

00:20:40.221 --> 00:20:45.351
What it shows up like is, well, my wife
doesn't understand me, or, or people

00:20:45.351 --> 00:20:48.741
don't get how much of a bur-, burden
of responsibility I have, which might

00:20:48.741 --> 00:20:52.941
be true at some level, but another
level, you're also kind of dumping

00:20:52.941 --> 00:20:56.871
that on somebody else or they might
be like, well, I don't have the time.

00:20:56.931 --> 00:20:58.701
Well, not taking
responsibility for your time.

00:20:58.701 --> 00:21:00.201
Well, where is your time going?

00:21:00.231 --> 00:21:02.901
Well, well this is, I'm
working all the time.

00:21:03.401 --> 00:21:05.681
That's, that's not clear or specific.

00:21:05.861 --> 00:21:06.941
How are you tracking that?

00:21:07.691 --> 00:21:08.771
Or I don't have the energy.

00:21:08.771 --> 00:21:10.331
Well, where is your energy going?

00:21:11.141 --> 00:21:14.081
Or I'm trying to create fi-, freedom.

00:21:14.081 --> 00:21:15.851
Well, tell me what
freedom looks like to you.

00:21:15.851 --> 00:21:21.251
They haven't defined it, or I'm trying to
create fi-, even something as sounds like

00:21:21.251 --> 00:21:22.931
specific, but it's not, financial freedom.

00:21:22.931 --> 00:21:24.161
Well, what does that look like?

00:21:24.991 --> 00:21:27.976
Give me specifics, tell me what
the ideal, they don't have it.

00:21:28.816 --> 00:21:32.116
And if I really push 'em, they'll say,
well, I want this many million dollars.

00:21:32.176 --> 00:21:32.656
Well, why?

00:21:32.656 --> 00:21:33.106
Tell me.

00:21:33.196 --> 00:21:34.156
Let's dig into it.

00:21:35.356 --> 00:21:37.336
And do you understand the cost of that?

00:21:37.366 --> 00:21:38.326
What is the cost of that?

00:21:38.326 --> 00:21:39.466
Because everything has a cost.

00:21:39.466 --> 00:21:40.606
Everything has a trade off.

00:21:41.026 --> 00:21:42.796
Are you willing to make that trade off?

00:21:42.796 --> 00:21:49.201
If I take you fast forward, you have $10
million and, and, in five years, you're

00:21:49.201 --> 00:21:54.001
making $10 million a year, but that has
cost you your relationship with your kid.

00:21:54.151 --> 00:21:55.111
Is that worth it for you?

00:21:56.551 --> 00:22:00.811
Or, let's say, you're, let's follow
through to the end of this goal.

00:22:01.831 --> 00:22:05.521
And let's say you did achieve that
success, but it came at this cost.

00:22:05.641 --> 00:22:06.541
Is that worth it for you?

00:22:07.501 --> 00:22:12.571
And, and, and I know to ask this
usually because I have a, I have

00:22:12.571 --> 00:22:16.981
somebody sitting on the other side
who has a medicine full of cabinet.

00:22:16.981 --> 00:22:20.701
It was one of my clients who, like,
during the session he kept popping pills.

00:22:21.091 --> 00:22:22.321
I'm like, is everything okay?

00:22:22.411 --> 00:22:23.731
I'm like, what?

00:22:23.731 --> 00:22:24.301
What's going on?

00:22:24.301 --> 00:22:26.311
And he is like, he is like,
oh, it's just my medication.

00:22:26.311 --> 00:22:27.541
I'm like, what's going
on with your medication?

00:22:27.571 --> 00:22:29.611
Like I have to take blood
pressure, this, and this.

00:22:29.611 --> 00:22:33.961
And and the guy's scared to start a
new business 'cause he spent 20 years

00:22:33.961 --> 00:22:39.391
trying to build a very successful
business, exited, and he has lost

00:22:39.391 --> 00:22:44.041
completely sense of purpose and, but
the toll of that has been on his health.

00:22:44.791 --> 00:22:48.871
He's 50 years old, but he looks like
he's in his seventies and his energy

00:22:48.871 --> 00:22:50.431
is that of an 80-year-old person.

00:22:51.391 --> 00:22:55.321
That person would give every million
dollars to gain that back, but

00:22:55.321 --> 00:22:58.561
it's not as simple and it's not as
easy and not to mention the, the

00:22:58.561 --> 00:23:00.031
broken relationships along the way.

00:23:01.021 --> 00:23:05.311
So, when I sit with a person like that
and, and I've had opportunities when

00:23:05.311 --> 00:23:09.871
we do our in-person event, I've had
very successful entrepreneurs come

00:23:09.871 --> 00:23:13.741
in, and there's a younger entrepreneur
in my event, I'll, I'll, if I get the

00:23:13.741 --> 00:23:16.231
opportunity, I'll get 'em to sit in
front of each other and I won't say

00:23:16.231 --> 00:23:20.311
anything, and I'll get the younger
person to ask the other person questions.

00:23:20.921 --> 00:23:24.341
And I, I actually had this opportunity
a couple years ago, actually last

00:23:24.341 --> 00:23:28.331
year, where this younger entrepreneur
was putting everything in it, and this

00:23:28.331 --> 00:23:33.401
other entrepreneur who had 20 plus years
experience, very successful guy, built a

00:23:33.401 --> 00:23:38.471
really purposeful business, and he looks
at it him and says business is easy.

00:23:39.161 --> 00:23:41.951
Let's talk about what you're doing
in your other parts of your life.

00:23:42.991 --> 00:23:43.711
And he is like, what?

00:23:43.711 --> 00:23:44.911
No, business is difficult.

00:23:44.911 --> 00:23:46.921
He is like, trust me,
you'll be successful.

00:23:46.951 --> 00:23:51.781
You'll be fine in this area, but what
are you doing in this area, in this area,

00:23:51.931 --> 00:23:53.581
and your relationships, and your health?

00:23:54.241 --> 00:23:56.221
Because what you're gonna
regret is this thing.

00:23:56.431 --> 00:23:58.771
And, and again, of course
he's, he's exaggerating.

00:23:58.771 --> 00:24:00.511
Business is not easy to build.

00:24:00.871 --> 00:24:05.071
But, if, with enough effort and, and
enough support, you will build it.

00:24:06.031 --> 00:24:08.221
But that might not be the
same on the personal side.

00:24:08.221 --> 00:24:11.571
That might not be the same
with your sense of purpose.

00:24:12.406 --> 00:24:14.206
That might not be the
same with lots of things.

00:24:14.206 --> 00:24:18.136
You can gain all the resources, but you're
gonna have to do the hard work and the

00:24:18.136 --> 00:24:20.956
process to build all parts of your life.

00:24:21.826 --> 00:24:26.176
So I'll, I'll, and, and essentially
what I'm getting at is, are you

00:24:26.176 --> 00:24:28.216
asking the difficult questions?

00:24:28.216 --> 00:24:32.116
And the problem is that us, ourselves,
will, our mind won't even allow us to ask

00:24:32.116 --> 00:24:34.096
those difficult questions essentially.

00:24:35.686 --> 00:24:38.266
Either somebody's forcing you
or you're in an environment that

00:24:38.266 --> 00:24:41.086
forces you to ask those kind of
questions, or you're going through

00:24:41.086 --> 00:24:43.096
some kind of tra-, tragic situation.

00:24:43.096 --> 00:24:44.956
Like, for example, somebody
gets a heart attack.

00:24:46.186 --> 00:24:49.456
The pain of the heart attack is much
worse than asking those questions.

00:24:49.456 --> 00:24:52.606
So the mind allows it to ask, and
this is where people change sometimes.

00:24:52.606 --> 00:24:57.136
It's like they, and again, my journey is
that I didn't learn this stuff because

00:24:57.136 --> 00:24:59.146
it was, I wanted to learn this stuff.

00:24:59.566 --> 00:25:02.596
I learned because my circumstances
forced me to go towards this.

00:25:03.471 --> 00:25:03.601
Michael: Right.

00:25:04.351 --> 00:25:09.121
It's interesting that it's so
easy to talk about this stuff on a

00:25:09.121 --> 00:25:10.861
surface, on the surface level, right?

00:25:10.861 --> 00:25:15.721
Of like, I can tell you like,
okay, these are, you know, I

00:25:15.726 --> 00:25:17.641
wanna be successful financially.

00:25:17.641 --> 00:25:20.401
I wanna have money in the
bank so I can go do whatever.

00:25:20.401 --> 00:25:26.131
I want to, my kids to be happy and
go to college and get good careers.

00:25:26.851 --> 00:25:28.171
The surface level stuff is easy.

00:25:28.801 --> 00:25:32.201
What you're saying is like you have
to dig deeper to really figure out

00:25:32.861 --> 00:25:35.611
what the, the meaning is behind that
'cause that's what really matters at

00:25:35.611 --> 00:25:39.771
the end of the day, because as you said
there, everything's a trade off, right?

00:25:40.341 --> 00:25:46.981
I could spend a hundred hours a
week working and essentially no

00:25:46.981 --> 00:25:48.661
real quality time with my family.

00:25:49.771 --> 00:25:52.801
Where does that put my kids?

00:25:52.801 --> 00:25:54.031
Where does that put my spouse?

00:25:55.636 --> 00:25:59.296
At the, you know, at the end of a year,
end of a couple years, at the end of

00:25:59.296 --> 00:26:05.206
their entire childhood, like they're,
we're never gonna find perfect balance.

00:26:05.266 --> 00:26:06.016
That's okay.

00:26:06.466 --> 00:26:10.706
It's, what is that, what are the
trade-offs that we're willing to make

00:26:10.956 --> 00:26:14.816
to get to the goals that we truly want?

00:26:14.816 --> 00:26:16.876
Like what does mean something to us?

00:26:17.326 --> 00:26:20.836
And from what I'm hearing from
you is like, for you, meaning

00:26:20.836 --> 00:26:22.636
is more than a paycheck.

00:26:22.696 --> 00:26:25.096
It's seeing others succeed.

00:26:25.096 --> 00:26:29.236
It's helping others kind of figure out
their answers to some of these questions.

00:26:29.986 --> 00:26:33.406
And correct me if I'm wrong with it,
that's kind of what is coming out of

00:26:33.466 --> 00:26:43.906
what you're saying is like you find your
purpose in helping others find a new level

00:26:43.906 --> 00:26:47.656
of personal meaning and success, right?

00:26:47.656 --> 00:26:51.346
And we're not talking like making $20
million instead of making $10 million.

00:26:51.496 --> 00:26:54.646
We're talking about success in
terms of happiness and purpose

00:26:54.676 --> 00:26:58.816
and life goals type of thing.

00:26:59.296 --> 00:27:03.586
And so, but we can't get to those stages
by just going on the surface level.

00:27:03.586 --> 00:27:07.786
At some point, to be successful, and
what, however you define success, and

00:27:07.786 --> 00:27:11.536
I think that's probably personal for
everybody, you have to dig deeper, right?

00:27:11.686 --> 00:27:12.046
Faisal: Yeah.

00:27:12.106 --> 00:27:15.796
Michael: And you have to ask yourself
the right questions or have somebody ask

00:27:15.796 --> 00:27:18.496
you the questions so that you can start
to figure out what trade offs are you

00:27:18.496 --> 00:27:20.566
willing to make and which ones aren't you

00:27:21.406 --> 00:27:21.586
Faisal: Yeah.

00:27:21.646 --> 00:27:22.516
Michael: willing to make.

00:27:23.806 --> 00:27:27.101
Faisal: And, and just to add to that,
none of this means that you shouldn't

00:27:27.101 --> 00:27:31.481
go towards the version, for example,
$20 million if you wanna head for

00:27:31.481 --> 00:27:34.991
that, but just know what the, what
the trade-offs are in the process.

00:27:34.991 --> 00:27:38.291
And most people underestimate
what the trade, trade-offs are,

00:27:38.681 --> 00:27:41.051
and the length of time matters.

00:27:41.051 --> 00:27:44.561
And I'll, I'll give this to everybody,
anybody listening to it: you have about

00:27:44.561 --> 00:27:49.901
4,000 weeks if you live the average
life of an adult in North America,

00:27:50.021 --> 00:27:53.996
about 80, 82 years, 4,300 weeks.

00:27:54.686 --> 00:27:59.406
You take half of that out for
eating, self-care, and other things.

00:27:59.436 --> 00:28:00.056
It's sleep.

00:28:00.956 --> 00:28:04.766
You have 2,000 weeks, and I always tell
people, I've lived my left about half of

00:28:04.766 --> 00:28:06.296
my life, so I have a thousand weeks left.

00:28:07.016 --> 00:28:08.696
It is not that many weeks.

00:28:09.416 --> 00:28:16.391
So you don't have unlimited amount of
time and you don't get to do over, like

00:28:16.421 --> 00:28:18.161
as far as we know, we got this one life.

00:28:18.191 --> 00:28:20.981
Even if you have a spiritual
belief, that life is likely gonna

00:28:20.981 --> 00:28:22.031
be different than this life.

00:28:22.031 --> 00:28:26.441
So what are we, and especially if you have
a spiritual belief, you, if you believe

00:28:26.441 --> 00:28:30.641
in something that's, that's an intelligent
universe, there's a purpose behind it.

00:28:30.641 --> 00:28:33.761
So it means that you didn't come here
randomly, but even if you didn't think

00:28:33.761 --> 00:28:36.491
that, you had a thou-, thousand weeks,
what are you gonna do with that?

00:28:36.911 --> 00:28:38.351
It's not that many weeks.

00:28:38.831 --> 00:28:40.601
What is that gonna be for, for?

00:28:40.631 --> 00:28:43.541
Most of the time, we're just kind
of floating through and trying

00:28:43.541 --> 00:28:44.891
to figure out what we want to do.

00:28:45.311 --> 00:28:48.731
I don't think we have that much time in
there, but paradoxically we also have a

00:28:48.731 --> 00:28:55.151
lot of time and a lot of big questions in
life are paradoxes which means if you're

00:28:55.181 --> 00:29:00.641
not asking the real questions, which
are usually uncomfortable, then you, and

00:29:00.641 --> 00:29:02.261
this is our tendency as human beings.

00:29:02.261 --> 00:29:03.251
We're a social species.

00:29:03.251 --> 00:29:04.631
We tend to copy everybody else.

00:29:04.631 --> 00:29:08.321
There was this one one business owner
said that, like you, if I drop you,

00:29:08.351 --> 00:29:12.041
and this was in 1980, seventies,
I think, like if I drop you in the

00:29:12.041 --> 00:29:16.541
middle of the US with a blindfold, do
you open your open the blindfold in

00:29:16.541 --> 00:29:18.191
the middle of a downtown in any city?

00:29:18.441 --> 00:29:20.721
It'll be very hard for you to
figure out which city it is because

00:29:20.721 --> 00:29:22.011
they kind of all look similar.

00:29:22.491 --> 00:29:25.641
The buildings are similar, some
differences, but the reason for

00:29:25.641 --> 00:29:28.491
that is that every person, every
business, copies each other.

00:29:28.761 --> 00:29:31.791
There are very few
unique businesses per se.

00:29:32.211 --> 00:29:34.431
And so what are you gonna
do as a human being?

00:29:34.431 --> 00:29:38.271
You're gonna go copy the next person's
life that looks really good to you.

00:29:38.391 --> 00:29:41.631
And, and if you haven't seen
this already, somebody's gonna,

00:29:42.076 --> 00:29:43.936
because marketers understand this.

00:29:43.936 --> 00:29:45.916
They will market this to
you if you haven't done it.

00:29:46.306 --> 00:29:48.196
Like they will tell you,
this is the life you want.

00:29:48.196 --> 00:29:49.216
This is the thing you want.

00:29:49.246 --> 00:29:52.276
This is the, and that's all of
pretty much, marketing is the thing

00:29:52.276 --> 00:29:54.196
that you don't really need or want.

00:29:54.286 --> 00:29:57.196
It's, it's fed to you, and it's like,
well, that looks better than mine

00:29:57.196 --> 00:29:59.116
thing, but you only know the surface.

00:29:59.536 --> 00:30:04.336
And then pretty soon you're gonna go
on about five to 10 year journey, and

00:30:04.336 --> 00:30:08.066
you realize, at the end of it, and
this is the most painful thing for

00:30:08.066 --> 00:30:12.356
a lot of my clients, they've spent a
decade building something, a life, a

00:30:12.356 --> 00:30:15.866
business, or a mix of those, and it's
like, I don't even know why I did this.

00:30:16.256 --> 00:30:21.236
They don't know because they just, they
subconsciously copied the next person, and

00:30:21.236 --> 00:30:23.426
that's when the painful journey starts.

00:30:23.426 --> 00:30:23.906
Like, huh.

00:30:23.986 --> 00:30:28.366
Their biggest problem becomes
regret is like, I don't wanna

00:30:28.366 --> 00:30:32.356
regret my life, because that's a
really big pain for a lot of people.

00:30:33.646 --> 00:30:38.776
So, so, if you don't wanna regret
living your life a certain way, whether

00:30:38.776 --> 00:30:42.676
that's related to your business,
life, relationships, whatever, then it

00:30:42.676 --> 00:30:47.116
requires you to either ask the difficult
questions, which in, in my experience,

00:30:47.116 --> 00:30:48.616
it's very hard to do that yourself.

00:30:48.616 --> 00:30:51.636
Very few people are able to,
I wasn't able to, and you need

00:30:51.636 --> 00:30:52.726
some kind of support there.

00:30:52.726 --> 00:30:53.956
And that might look like therapy.

00:30:53.956 --> 00:30:55.036
That might look like coaching.

00:30:55.036 --> 00:30:57.226
That might look like a
right community, right?

00:30:57.226 --> 00:30:59.206
And so I'm not here to say,
well, coaching is for everybody.

00:30:59.206 --> 00:30:59.596
It's not.

00:31:00.706 --> 00:31:07.021
You might not be ready for that, but, what
is it that, have you done the deeper work?

00:31:07.501 --> 00:31:09.721
And usually, you know, you've
done the deep work because

00:31:09.721 --> 00:31:11.161
it's incredibly uncomfortable.

00:31:11.161 --> 00:31:11.736
It's not easy.

00:31:12.871 --> 00:31:14.421
Michael: Right, right.

00:31:14.901 --> 00:31:19.936
I think it's, I love the, how you
broke down the number of weeks.

00:31:20.356 --> 00:31:23.996
It kind of makes me think of
like life is a budget, right?

00:31:24.036 --> 00:31:28.076
You have a certain amount of, set
of, your currency is your time.

00:31:28.216 --> 00:31:28.636
Faisal: Mm-hmm.

00:31:28.981 --> 00:31:29.191
Michael: Right?

00:31:29.191 --> 00:31:32.401
Because you have a limited amount of time,
a limited amount of time, you know, if the

00:31:32.401 --> 00:31:38.451
average age span is 82, you know, you've
got 4,300 weeks to, to work with, and you

00:31:38.451 --> 00:31:44.071
know, half of those weeks are gonna go to
sleeping and eating and just general care.

00:31:44.521 --> 00:31:47.941
So now you're, you're budgeting
with, you know, 2000 weeks.

00:31:47.941 --> 00:31:49.861
How are you going to
spend those 2000 weeks,

00:31:50.131 --> 00:31:50.421
Faisal: Yeah.

00:31:50.461 --> 00:31:50.791
Michael: right?

00:31:50.821 --> 00:31:52.111
You only get to use 'em once.

00:31:52.591 --> 00:31:54.211
How are you going to spend it?

00:31:54.211 --> 00:31:59.386
And it's like, okay, you could,
theoretically, spend it all

00:31:59.386 --> 00:32:03.076
working, but is that really what
you wanna do with your life?

00:32:03.346 --> 00:32:04.486
Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.

00:32:04.666 --> 00:32:07.696
You could spend it all with your
family, but then you don't have anything

00:32:07.696 --> 00:32:10.156
to support yourself with, right?

00:32:10.171 --> 00:32:11.216
Faisal: I don't think
they would want that.

00:32:13.036 --> 00:32:13.216
Michael: Right.

00:32:13.216 --> 00:32:15.256
There's a lot of potential questions.

00:32:15.256 --> 00:32:17.296
I mean, that's going to the
extremes, obviously, right?

00:32:17.296 --> 00:32:23.466
So, like, nobody probably wants the
extreme of any particular, they don't

00:32:23.466 --> 00:32:26.806
wanna spend all their time doing the
same thing all day, every day, right?

00:32:27.486 --> 00:32:30.301
There was some variety in
there, but it's like, okay, how

00:32:30.301 --> 00:32:32.071
do you spend that, that time?

00:32:32.071 --> 00:32:34.681
If time is your currency,
how are you gonna spend it?

00:32:34.921 --> 00:32:37.921
Because like you said, we probably
only spend it once, right?

00:32:37.921 --> 00:32:41.671
Like we only have this one life to live,
so we gotta make the most of it if we

00:32:41.671 --> 00:32:43.591
want, but, okay, how are we gonna do that?

00:32:44.026 --> 00:32:44.266
Faisal: Yeah.

00:32:45.781 --> 00:32:48.631
And, and this is where like,
this is a really important point

00:32:48.661 --> 00:32:52.441
that we're given, we're told
that money is the biggest thing.

00:32:53.461 --> 00:32:56.761
But the interesting thing is people who
actually have money, they don't think

00:32:56.761 --> 00:32:58.501
the money is the most valuable thing.

00:32:58.621 --> 00:33:01.621
In fact, they will turn around
and tell you, my time is a lot

00:33:01.621 --> 00:33:02.821
more valuable than my money.

00:33:03.181 --> 00:33:06.271
In fact, this is a regular
practice for anybody who has money.

00:33:06.811 --> 00:33:09.961
They will give away their money
constantly to buy back their time.

00:33:09.961 --> 00:33:10.861
They will delegate.

00:33:10.861 --> 00:33:11.881
They'll build systems.

00:33:11.881 --> 00:33:14.851
They will do all the kinds of
things to buy back because they know

00:33:14.851 --> 00:33:16.471
they're not gonna get that back.

00:33:16.711 --> 00:33:20.251
And on top of that, they realize
that, well, what, what are they

00:33:20.251 --> 00:33:23.551
using that, they, time becomes as
essential component of their life.

00:33:23.551 --> 00:33:27.321
Now, whether or not they use it
for, for what matters to them

00:33:27.321 --> 00:33:30.691
is a whole other story, but they
start to see the value of that.

00:33:30.691 --> 00:33:34.076
Now, most people who are kind of
climbing that ladder, they've been

00:33:34.076 --> 00:33:38.126
sold this thing about money is
the most important thing because

00:33:38.126 --> 00:33:40.076
that's the dream that's sold, right?

00:33:40.076 --> 00:33:44.456
And, again, money is important because it,
it, I mean, essentially has one function.

00:33:44.456 --> 00:33:45.476
It, it gives you options.

00:33:46.621 --> 00:33:50.131
It gives you options, but if you don't
know what you want, what the hell

00:33:50.131 --> 00:33:51.601
are you doing with those options?

00:33:52.261 --> 00:33:55.111
Most people, so what, this is what
happens if you just in, I mean, we,

00:33:55.111 --> 00:33:56.491
we've actually tracked this with lottery.

00:33:56.491 --> 00:34:03.001
Anybody who gets, gets a, wins the
lottery, within a year, they're

00:34:03.001 --> 00:34:05.551
back to where they are or within two
years, they're back to where they

00:34:05.551 --> 00:34:09.061
are because they don't actually know
how to hold onto that responsibility.

00:34:09.061 --> 00:34:12.601
So when somebody builds wealth, it
slowly comes with the responsibility

00:34:12.601 --> 00:34:14.251
of it, the ownership of it.

00:34:14.641 --> 00:34:17.611
This is why most people who have
never built a business, they don't

00:34:17.671 --> 00:34:20.761
understand how ownership actually works.

00:34:22.231 --> 00:34:27.781
And, and I've had a, a CEO I'm working
with, one of his team members who had

00:34:27.781 --> 00:34:32.881
worked with him for several years, wanted
ownership in the company, and she didn't

00:34:32.881 --> 00:34:34.681
actually understand what that meant.

00:34:35.161 --> 00:34:38.041
And he's like, well, I'll give you
ownership, but then you're gonna have

00:34:38.041 --> 00:34:41.431
to take part of the ownership as well,
which means that you're responsible

00:34:41.431 --> 00:34:45.361
when stocks go down, when company
goes down, are you willing to do that?

00:34:45.871 --> 00:34:48.721
And now she's like, well, I
don't know if I want that.

00:34:48.721 --> 00:34:53.221
And, and I mean, over the years he has,
he's had to put his personal a-, assets

00:34:53.221 --> 00:34:55.021
against the business for it to survive.

00:34:55.501 --> 00:34:57.691
I mean, that's ownership.

00:34:57.691 --> 00:34:59.311
That's, that's responsibility.

00:34:59.311 --> 00:35:03.961
And, and the problem is that
we, for-, forget where that is.

00:35:03.961 --> 00:35:05.551
We only see the surface of that.

00:35:06.421 --> 00:35:09.091
We, in life itself is a responsibility.

00:35:09.091 --> 00:35:10.471
It's like, what are you
gonna do with your body?

00:35:10.471 --> 00:35:11.581
What are you gonna do with your mind?

00:35:11.581 --> 00:35:16.351
What are you gonna do with your, like I
look at all those as if you own it fully.

00:35:16.951 --> 00:35:23.281
You're gonna, and then this is what
I mean by, by taking on owning your

00:35:23.281 --> 00:35:28.141
life fully, is that whatever happens,
you're looking at that I have a part

00:35:28.141 --> 00:35:30.271
to play, if not a lot of part to play.

00:35:30.271 --> 00:35:31.081
I have a part to play.

00:35:31.081 --> 00:35:32.311
And what is my part?

00:35:33.036 --> 00:35:33.256
Michael: Yep.

00:35:33.451 --> 00:35:36.091
Faisal: If you haven't understood
that yet, whether that's broken

00:35:36.091 --> 00:35:40.741
relationships, business not working,
your health is down, what is your part?

00:35:40.891 --> 00:35:43.891
And if you get uncomfortable enough,
you'll find out that you have a

00:35:43.891 --> 00:35:45.721
big part to play in that process.

00:35:46.051 --> 00:35:48.811
And if you correct for that, that's
when you start to see alignment.

00:35:48.841 --> 00:35:53.401
That, that's where you start to see
enough hope and light, and now you can

00:35:53.401 --> 00:35:57.731
balance it out against, okay, what are
the, the adversities I need to deal with?

00:35:57.731 --> 00:36:00.131
And it will actually help you
become more resilient as well.

00:36:00.131 --> 00:36:02.921
So we're not essentially looking for
a perfect life, but we're looking

00:36:02.921 --> 00:36:07.391
for what is a life that has, like
you said, enough variety, but it has

00:36:07.391 --> 00:36:11.801
enough challenge, enough growth, enough
purpose, enough contribution where it

00:36:11.801 --> 00:36:16.541
makes me feel like I'm a human being
rather than a robot running around.

00:36:17.836 --> 00:36:19.871
There, there, there's one
last thing I wanna share.

00:36:19.991 --> 00:36:25.981
There was this tech CEO who
said this recently, and he was

00:36:25.981 --> 00:36:27.511
talking about the AI revolution.

00:36:27.541 --> 00:36:31.261
He asked the question, he's like, what
if since the industrial age, we've

00:36:31.261 --> 00:36:35.221
been running around like robots in
assembly lines trying to build this

00:36:35.221 --> 00:36:38.941
by trying to build that, but we've
kind of become robots in the process?

00:36:39.151 --> 00:36:43.701
What if AI's here to free us from
that and we get to become more human?

00:36:44.871 --> 00:36:46.971
I was like that, that's
an interesting take at it.

00:36:47.511 --> 00:36:50.571
Of course, if we, that, the
question is we use it right?

00:36:50.631 --> 00:36:54.801
That was the function of automation
and AI and everything is to get us to

00:36:54.801 --> 00:36:58.371
become more creative, get us to become
more connected with our life, get

00:36:58.371 --> 00:37:00.456
us to work towards bigger purposes.

00:37:00.456 --> 00:37:02.961
Whether or not that happens is a
different story, but at least there's

00:37:02.961 --> 00:37:06.831
some profoundness in the idea that we've
been running around for a couple of

00:37:06.831 --> 00:37:12.951
centuries trying to automate everything,
trying to push more, but at what cost?

00:37:13.771 --> 00:37:14.041
Michael: Right.

00:37:14.521 --> 00:37:14.851
Absolutely.

00:37:14.851 --> 00:37:20.431
I think, you know, as we try to push more,
I think as a society, obviously we've

00:37:20.611 --> 00:37:23.941
advanced quite a bit over time, right?

00:37:24.391 --> 00:37:27.511
And we're in a place now that I
don't think many of us imagined we

00:37:27.511 --> 00:37:31.471
could be in, you know, even just a
couple decades ago or a decade ago.

00:37:32.401 --> 00:37:37.216
But there, it is always this more,
more, more mentality of like, we

00:37:37.216 --> 00:37:38.866
need to do more, we want more.

00:37:39.796 --> 00:37:43.426
The world is kind of requiring more,
and I think for a lot of dads, they

00:37:43.426 --> 00:37:47.506
feel like they're always behind, right,
either at home or at work, or maybe both.

00:37:48.316 --> 00:37:54.316
Is there sort of a mindset shift or
something you would encourage dads to

00:37:54.316 --> 00:37:59.916
do the, who feel like they are behind
right now, so that they feel like

00:38:00.016 --> 00:38:01.186
they can get ahead of the curve again?

00:38:01.926 --> 00:38:06.396
Faisal: Well, the, the first thing is to
ask why do you feel like you're behind?

00:38:06.456 --> 00:38:07.836
Behind on what exactly?

00:38:08.076 --> 00:38:11.226
Because when, with these things, if you
become specific enough, you'll learn

00:38:11.226 --> 00:38:15.126
that you've actually picked up that
thought or that pattern of thinking

00:38:15.126 --> 00:38:16.896
or belief from your environment.

00:38:17.166 --> 00:38:17.436
Why?

00:38:17.436 --> 00:38:19.776
Because every other dad talks
about the same goddamn thing.

00:38:20.316 --> 00:38:23.076
Oh, I feel guilty when I
work, when I go to business.

00:38:23.076 --> 00:38:25.416
And one thing I tell my
clients all the time: when I'm

00:38:25.416 --> 00:38:26.646
with you, I'm just with you.

00:38:26.706 --> 00:38:27.756
Nothing else matters to me.

00:38:28.111 --> 00:38:31.591
When I'm with my family, you
can, and I, my business partners

00:38:31.591 --> 00:38:32.731
have gotten tired of this.

00:38:33.151 --> 00:38:34.981
But eventually they gave up on this.

00:38:34.981 --> 00:38:37.291
They'll send me a message,
something to the effect of, oh,

00:38:37.291 --> 00:38:38.551
we need to work on this thing.

00:38:39.361 --> 00:38:41.311
It's, it's, it's important.

00:38:41.851 --> 00:38:46.351
Client has come up with client
needs support in this area, or

00:38:46.831 --> 00:38:48.121
we need to pivot in this area.

00:38:48.121 --> 00:38:49.711
I'll get a message over the weekend.

00:38:49.711 --> 00:38:53.131
And my question always the same is
like, can this be done on Monday?

00:38:54.426 --> 00:38:54.646
Michael: Yep.

00:38:54.766 --> 00:38:56.416
Faisal: I was like, if
they say no, it's like why?

00:38:57.076 --> 00:38:59.596
What's, what is it costing us right now?

00:38:59.986 --> 00:39:02.956
Is it actually gonna crash
something in the business?

00:39:02.956 --> 00:39:04.726
Is it gonna cost us a lot of money?

00:39:05.236 --> 00:39:05.716
Yeah.

00:39:05.776 --> 00:39:09.676
It might cost us something in the process.

00:39:09.676 --> 00:39:11.296
I'm like, oh, let's
deal with it on Monday.

00:39:12.016 --> 00:39:12.346
Great.

00:39:12.631 --> 00:39:12.751
Michael: Yep.

00:39:13.261 --> 00:39:15.781
Faisal: But I don't
feel guilty saying that.

00:39:15.841 --> 00:39:19.321
In the same way I don't feel guilty
if I have, if I'm in a conversation

00:39:19.321 --> 00:39:22.171
with you, if my daughter came in
before, I'm like, I don't feel guilty

00:39:22.171 --> 00:39:23.331
that she wants something from me.

00:39:23.771 --> 00:39:24.681
She knows that I'm working.

00:39:26.091 --> 00:39:30.571
And the same way, if I have time for
myself, I'm going, I need that sanity.

00:39:31.266 --> 00:39:36.246
For me to take care of my, my, my
body, my, my, my ability to think, to

00:39:36.246 --> 00:39:39.456
be able to take care of my family, my
business, employees, all the people

00:39:39.461 --> 00:39:41.526
that I, that I support in the process.

00:39:41.526 --> 00:39:42.996
If I'm not doing that, what am I doing?

00:39:42.996 --> 00:39:48.096
And, and the also in the meantime, if
I, and this is the bigger question.

00:39:48.096 --> 00:39:51.996
If I'm not living a life that matters
to me, and that's a purpose question,

00:39:51.996 --> 00:39:57.366
that's an alignment question, then
eventually I'll become resentful of

00:39:57.366 --> 00:39:58.566
the people that I'm taking care of.

00:39:59.161 --> 00:40:01.921
Whether those are my kids, it's
a weird thing to think about.

00:40:01.921 --> 00:40:06.271
You love your kids and family to death,
but I can tell you every day somebody

00:40:06.271 --> 00:40:07.741
becomes resentful in the process.

00:40:07.741 --> 00:40:13.201
And I have, too, where they made a
decision that went against their own

00:40:13.201 --> 00:40:15.781
core and their own, their own soul.

00:40:15.781 --> 00:40:17.431
And that was my biggest
problems to my wife.

00:40:17.431 --> 00:40:18.631
I'm like, I need to do this.

00:40:19.711 --> 00:40:23.821
My, I had, I was like, because I don't
wanna sacrifice my soul for some job or

00:40:23.821 --> 00:40:28.531
some career path, but my promise was that
I'm, I'm always gonna be there for them.

00:40:29.266 --> 00:40:32.896
That wasn't easy and I wasn't
perfect at it, but I've tried to keep

00:40:32.931 --> 00:40:34.876
that, that promise, both promises.

00:40:34.876 --> 00:40:38.566
One, I didn't wanna sacrifice
my soul for some financial or

00:40:38.566 --> 00:40:41.596
career path, which, which would've
come with all kinds of things.

00:40:41.596 --> 00:40:45.646
And second was that I wasn't gonna
sacrifice my, my family and my promise

00:40:45.646 --> 00:40:47.356
to myself was my health and wellbeing.

00:40:47.796 --> 00:40:51.456
Again, none of those areas are perfect,
but my, I'm constantly in striving

00:40:51.456 --> 00:40:52.896
to see how can I do this better?

00:40:53.196 --> 00:40:54.366
So that's the first question.

00:40:54.366 --> 00:40:57.306
Now in terms of people love how-tos.

00:40:57.576 --> 00:41:00.066
My how-to will be so different
from the next person, but there

00:41:00.066 --> 00:41:01.596
are certain things you can do.

00:41:01.986 --> 00:41:05.556
Well, if you don't do anything,
take account of your energy,

00:41:06.296 --> 00:41:07.796
time, and relationships.

00:41:07.826 --> 00:41:12.146
What, what that means is my,
for example, I have my calendar.

00:41:12.176 --> 00:41:13.316
I'm, I'm a busy person.

00:41:14.066 --> 00:41:15.686
I have, I'm running two businesses.

00:41:15.746 --> 00:41:18.086
I have my family, I have
my extended family, team.

00:41:18.086 --> 00:41:22.406
Every, everybody, a lot of people are
constantly reaching out to me, so I look

00:41:22.406 --> 00:41:27.076
at my calendar, I'm like, well, how's
my time and energy gonna get divided?

00:41:27.076 --> 00:41:28.006
It's not just time.

00:41:28.786 --> 00:41:31.846
Well, mornings are dedicated to
me because I have the most energy.

00:41:31.846 --> 00:41:32.836
That's when I can think.

00:41:32.836 --> 00:41:35.986
That's when I can do those things,
the things that matter to me.

00:41:35.986 --> 00:41:39.646
I can figure out how I can take care of my
family, my business, those kind of things.

00:41:41.656 --> 00:41:44.176
That's early morning, so
I wake up usually 6:30.

00:41:44.296 --> 00:41:48.736
After that, I will, I'll get
to see my family for a little

00:41:48.736 --> 00:41:50.026
bit, for half an hour or so.

00:41:50.176 --> 00:41:51.406
I'll get to greet and support them.

00:41:51.406 --> 00:41:52.186
I work from home.

00:41:53.116 --> 00:41:56.926
And then I'm back to my team, my
clients, those kind of things.

00:41:56.926 --> 00:41:58.276
And evening is with my family.

00:41:58.816 --> 00:42:01.456
I'm done at, at 1:00 PM on Fridays.

00:42:01.606 --> 00:42:04.996
I'm done all of weekend, and I
always joke around with my wife

00:42:04.996 --> 00:42:05.896
when she says, you're done?

00:42:05.896 --> 00:42:07.486
I'm like, I'm never done, but I'm here.

00:42:08.476 --> 00:42:10.846
That's just a, like,
there, there's no done.

00:42:10.846 --> 00:42:13.546
I have to force myself to be
done at 1:00 PM on Friday.

00:42:13.546 --> 00:42:14.626
In most cases, I can do it.

00:42:14.646 --> 00:42:17.446
There are exceptions, but we
can talk about exceptions.

00:42:17.811 --> 00:42:21.411
But that's pretty much, and, and
I'm not telling people to create

00:42:21.411 --> 00:42:25.071
that life, but I'm constantly
tracking where my time, energy.

00:42:25.071 --> 00:42:27.861
And who is, who are the
people I'm interacting with.

00:42:28.131 --> 00:42:29.781
My relationships, time, and energy.

00:42:29.811 --> 00:42:34.551
If you can just track those and not
just rely on your memory to tell you

00:42:34.551 --> 00:42:38.721
what you're actually doing, because
we're human beings, and then, and I

00:42:38.721 --> 00:42:42.231
always say this to my clients, your
mind will also always lie to you.

00:42:43.276 --> 00:42:48.916
Not to, not because of anything other than
to protect you from your own discomfort.

00:42:49.276 --> 00:42:50.776
Your body doesn't know how to lie to you.

00:42:51.511 --> 00:42:54.661
And this is also why if you are
around with a therapist, with a

00:42:54.661 --> 00:42:57.091
coach, psychologist, they'll pay
attention to your body language a

00:42:57.091 --> 00:42:58.591
lot more than what your thoughts.

00:42:59.431 --> 00:43:01.321
They'll notice your inflection points.

00:43:01.321 --> 00:43:02.941
Your, they'll notice your emotions.

00:43:02.941 --> 00:43:05.191
They'll notice your
body language changing.

00:43:05.521 --> 00:43:05.701
Why?

00:43:05.701 --> 00:43:09.601
Because they know that you can share
all kinds of things, but if you

00:43:09.861 --> 00:43:13.491
don't believe it or don't feel it,
your body will react in that moment.

00:43:13.851 --> 00:43:16.371
So, pay attention to your energy.

00:43:16.371 --> 00:43:17.721
Pay attention to your time.

00:43:17.721 --> 00:43:19.971
Notice where your energy
is good, not good.

00:43:20.331 --> 00:43:21.081
What's happening?

00:43:21.201 --> 00:43:25.221
Take, give yourself feedback, take care
of your time, and know what kind of

00:43:25.221 --> 00:43:30.481
people you wanna be around because your
relationships will be a big factor,

00:43:30.541 --> 00:43:34.771
especially your core relationships and
how you move forward, the quality of your

00:43:34.771 --> 00:43:39.691
life, probably the biggest factor, the
quality of your life and all that stuff.

00:43:40.171 --> 00:43:44.701
If you can just start with those
three things and it's easy.

00:43:44.701 --> 00:43:48.031
It's a simple thing, but most people
will not do it, again, because

00:43:48.031 --> 00:43:49.231
we're not gonna be as structured.

00:43:49.231 --> 00:43:50.491
We're not gonna be as disciplined.

00:43:50.791 --> 00:43:52.891
We're not gonna take
ownership of our time.

00:43:52.891 --> 00:43:53.131
Why?

00:43:53.131 --> 00:43:54.241
Because life happens.

00:43:55.211 --> 00:43:57.881
Routines get thrown off,
and that happens to me, too.

00:43:58.151 --> 00:43:59.321
But are you gonna go back to it?

00:43:59.321 --> 00:44:01.091
And why are you gonna go
back to this, your path?

00:44:01.151 --> 00:44:03.071
And that's where the
bigger questions comes in.

00:44:03.071 --> 00:44:05.861
If your path is important to you,
if your vision is important to

00:44:05.861 --> 00:44:08.621
you, if your purpose is important
to you, you will keep going back.

00:44:08.621 --> 00:44:14.111
If that why piece that story is not clear,
then you will just do something else.

00:44:14.521 --> 00:44:18.031
And it would just be like jumping
from like a ping pong, ping pong

00:44:18.031 --> 00:44:20.221
ball going from one thing to another.

00:44:20.221 --> 00:44:23.281
And that's when you start to realize,
well, I don't know what to do as a dad.

00:44:23.671 --> 00:44:25.171
Let me look at the next person.

00:44:25.171 --> 00:44:26.011
What are they doing?

00:44:26.341 --> 00:44:27.751
Well, you look at the next person.

00:44:27.751 --> 00:44:28.831
Well, that looks pretty good.

00:44:28.831 --> 00:44:30.331
That guy has a pretty good house.

00:44:30.331 --> 00:44:32.101
That guy looks like he's
good with his family.

00:44:32.431 --> 00:44:33.331
It's like, what is he doing?

00:44:33.331 --> 00:44:33.961
Let me ask him.

00:44:33.961 --> 00:44:34.621
They'll tell you.

00:44:34.621 --> 00:44:38.281
It's just like I'm telling you, and
you're gonna try to copy, and it won't

00:44:38.281 --> 00:44:41.431
work for you because you're actually
not asking those difficult questions.

00:44:42.481 --> 00:44:42.751
Michael: Right.

00:44:43.231 --> 00:44:46.711
Yeah, that's a great point of,
yeah, you can still learn something

00:44:46.711 --> 00:44:50.041
from others, but everyone's
situation is unique to themselves.

00:44:50.236 --> 00:44:50.446
Faisal: Yeah.

00:44:50.701 --> 00:44:56.491
Michael: And everybody's personality
is unique and that what you tell me

00:44:56.491 --> 00:44:59.741
right now, I could try to , some of
it might work, some of it might not.

00:44:59.831 --> 00:45:06.671
But there is that dichotomy between
yourself and myself of like, we're

00:45:06.671 --> 00:45:10.891
two different people, and we're going
to experience things differently.

00:45:10.971 --> 00:45:15.581
And we come from backgrounds
that are different, and we are

00:45:15.581 --> 00:45:16.721
in scenarios that are different.

00:45:16.721 --> 00:45:17.891
Yes, they can be very similar.

00:45:17.891 --> 00:45:19.421
Yes, we're both fathers of kids.

00:45:19.751 --> 00:45:23.021
Yes, we both have spouses that
we love, and we both do work that

00:45:23.021 --> 00:45:25.241
we love, but it doesn't mean that

00:45:25.661 --> 00:45:25.871
Faisal: Yeah.

00:45:26.211 --> 00:45:27.051
Michael: everything is exactly the same.

00:45:27.806 --> 00:45:30.356
Faisal: Yeah, and I'll, I'll even
say, so this is a funny point.

00:45:30.356 --> 00:45:33.566
So, and this is in pop culture
where you see a lot of movies where

00:45:33.566 --> 00:45:37.256
somebody gets switched with somebody
else's life and it looks amazing.

00:45:37.256 --> 00:45:39.596
Pretty soon they find out, I
don't want this person's life.

00:45:39.986 --> 00:45:43.586
That's actually the, the, the, the
most profound movies are those because

00:45:44.006 --> 00:45:47.816
you might want, like, and I always
tell people like sometimes somebody

00:45:47.816 --> 00:45:49.076
will be like, oh, I love your life.

00:45:49.076 --> 00:45:50.606
You're traveling, you're
doing all this stuff.

00:45:50.606 --> 00:45:53.996
I'm like, I can imagine somebody
just popping into my life

00:45:53.996 --> 00:45:54.956
and hating my life from that.

00:45:56.161 --> 00:45:59.846
It's like I love it because it's
my life because I've built it, and

00:45:59.846 --> 00:46:02.996
I've owned it, and I look forward
to the things that matter to me.

00:46:02.996 --> 00:46:04.676
Even the challenges I look forward to.

00:46:04.676 --> 00:46:05.606
Even the struggles.

00:46:05.966 --> 00:46:09.026
I accept it, but the
next person might not.

00:46:09.626 --> 00:46:12.746
And same thing for you, like, you
might wish somebody else's life.

00:46:12.746 --> 00:46:16.346
You go into it, you might hate it,
you like, I'll keep my own problems.

00:46:17.396 --> 00:46:17.606
Michael: Yep.

00:46:17.876 --> 00:46:18.416
Exactly.

00:46:18.896 --> 00:46:19.466
Exactly.

00:46:19.826 --> 00:46:20.266
I love that.

00:46:20.266 --> 00:46:20.606
It's great.

00:46:20.606 --> 00:46:25.781
I also like, I appreciate the talk
about energy, and, you know, the

00:46:25.781 --> 00:46:30.671
energy is more than just like you,
you said like you have energy.

00:46:31.481 --> 00:46:33.191
Your best energy is in
the mornings usually.

00:46:33.941 --> 00:46:37.391
I also think of energy of like
where you get energy from, right?

00:46:37.421 --> 00:46:41.621
Yes, you get energy from sleeping and
exercising and things, but, you know,

00:46:41.621 --> 00:46:45.341
for extroverts, you know, they get
energy from being around others and from

00:46:45.341 --> 00:46:50.381
introverts, it could be doing things
like reading or, you know, meditation

00:46:50.381 --> 00:46:56.681
or whatever they do, like an alone time,
and there's ways to, you can increase,

00:46:57.041 --> 00:46:59.711
you can't increase your inventory of
time like we've talked about, right?

00:46:59.921 --> 00:47:03.881
But you can increase your inventory
of energy and you can increase

00:47:04.361 --> 00:47:06.251
the value you get from the other.

00:47:06.251 --> 00:47:09.011
The, the third part, third piece
of what you talked about, which is

00:47:09.011 --> 00:47:12.311
relationships by focusing on the
relationships that matter most to you,

00:47:12.701 --> 00:47:12.991
Faisal: Yeah.

00:47:13.041 --> 00:47:16.691
Michael: right, and in
de-emphasizing the relationships

00:47:16.691 --> 00:47:18.521
that might be draining you, right?

00:47:18.521 --> 00:47:23.021
And so there's ways to,
you know, yes, time is set.

00:47:23.111 --> 00:47:27.551
You can't add more time to your
life that we know of, right?

00:47:27.551 --> 00:47:29.891
But you can add more
energy to your daily basis.

00:47:29.891 --> 00:47:34.161
You can spend more time with the
relationships that matter most to

00:47:34.161 --> 00:47:37.266
you and pull yourself away from the
relationships that might be draining you.

00:47:37.406 --> 00:47:37.696
Faisal: Yeah.

00:47:38.746 --> 00:47:41.591
Michael: And it's so easy to forget
sometimes 'cause, you know, as we're

00:47:41.591 --> 00:47:46.001
in the day to day and we're just trying
to keep things afloat, it's a great

00:47:46.001 --> 00:47:49.961
reminder of like, yeah, there are things
we can focus on and that we can control.

00:47:50.381 --> 00:47:52.721
And they always say, you know,
focus on what you can control.

00:47:52.721 --> 00:47:54.611
The things that are outta your control,
there's nothing you can do about,

00:47:54.966 --> 00:47:55.256
Faisal: Yeah.

00:47:55.651 --> 00:47:58.841
Michael: and time is something
you can't control, but energy and

00:47:58.841 --> 00:48:02.231
relationships are things you can,
at least to some degree, control.

00:48:02.741 --> 00:48:03.011
Faisal: Yeah.

00:48:03.791 --> 00:48:04.871
Michael: You know, maybe not completely.

00:48:05.531 --> 00:48:06.371
It's really interesting.

00:48:06.686 --> 00:48:06.986
Faisal: Yeah.

00:48:06.986 --> 00:48:11.416
And, and, and just, just one point to
add, and I, and I completely agree that.

00:48:11.416 --> 00:48:13.256
You're, think about it this way.

00:48:13.286 --> 00:48:15.626
You, everybody has 24 hours in a day.

00:48:15.626 --> 00:48:19.166
So why is it that one person can
get 10 times more done or a hundred

00:48:19.166 --> 00:48:20.336
times more done than the other?

00:48:20.336 --> 00:48:25.676
Well, they have understood that
they have renewable energy,

00:48:25.676 --> 00:48:27.476
but it's limited in a day.

00:48:27.836 --> 00:48:31.646
For example, you have a limited
number of decision making energy.

00:48:33.251 --> 00:48:36.161
Think about it, the end of the
day when you need to decide on

00:48:36.161 --> 00:48:38.141
something, your mind is drained.

00:48:39.296 --> 00:48:42.716
It's probably not a good time to
decide, or you've gotten into a conflict

00:48:42.746 --> 00:48:47.486
and your energy's being taken up by
that relationship, or you're feeling

00:48:47.486 --> 00:48:54.506
guilty in a moment, or you've just
spent three hours doing heavy work,

00:48:54.506 --> 00:48:55.976
and you need to do the next thing.

00:48:55.976 --> 00:48:56.906
You'll be drained.

00:48:57.266 --> 00:49:01.766
So, those who are strategic about
energy, they understand that they

00:49:01.766 --> 00:49:02.831
need to leverage it differently.

00:49:03.521 --> 00:49:07.811
So that means where is my energy the
most valuable versus somebody else's?

00:49:07.811 --> 00:49:10.391
And this is why they surround
themselves with the right people.

00:49:11.081 --> 00:49:14.591
I might not be the most, even in my
personal life, I might not be the most

00:49:14.591 --> 00:49:18.551
valuable person to be around my kids
all the time, especially if I'm getting

00:49:18.551 --> 00:49:21.971
drained and, but somebody else might be.

00:49:22.631 --> 00:49:23.981
In this case, my wife is.

00:49:25.661 --> 00:49:28.601
I might not be the best person
to lead some of my team members

00:49:28.601 --> 00:49:29.741
that somebody else can be.

00:49:30.176 --> 00:49:33.686
I might not know how to create a system
that works well, but somebody else can.

00:49:34.046 --> 00:49:38.936
But also thinking of energy as
you're either, you're either getting

00:49:38.936 --> 00:49:41.096
drained or you're getting energized.

00:49:42.236 --> 00:49:43.376
I, I look at it that way.

00:49:43.376 --> 00:49:45.746
So, for example, you mentioned
doing the work that you love.

00:49:46.076 --> 00:49:49.046
I don't, I don't think, I've
never bought the idea of you need

00:49:49.046 --> 00:49:50.246
to do something that you hate.

00:49:50.246 --> 00:49:54.581
Yeah, so, for a period of time, maybe.

00:49:54.761 --> 00:49:57.221
So let's say you need to
do some difficult work.

00:49:57.221 --> 00:50:00.971
And I did that, like I, I, I did
all kinds of jobs to sustain our

00:50:00.971 --> 00:50:02.501
life because I had a responsibility.

00:50:02.861 --> 00:50:06.281
But in the background, I also had a plan
towards the thing that mattered to me.

00:50:06.851 --> 00:50:10.661
And now that doesn't mean I constantly
wanna do this thing, but when I'm

00:50:10.661 --> 00:50:12.731
working, I don't feel like I'm working.

00:50:12.756 --> 00:50:14.861
I, I mean, these are the
conversations I'm around.

00:50:14.861 --> 00:50:16.871
I, I do them every day, all day.

00:50:16.871 --> 00:50:18.671
And I've been doing it for 11-plus years.

00:50:19.061 --> 00:50:22.691
And that's weird as it is to me,
I keep wanting to do more of it.

00:50:23.561 --> 00:50:23.861
Why?

00:50:23.861 --> 00:50:25.301
Because this matters to me.

00:50:25.301 --> 00:50:26.681
The, the work matters to me.

00:50:26.681 --> 00:50:31.511
The why, because that's very
specifically tied to my story, and

00:50:31.511 --> 00:50:33.461
it's specifically tied to my purpose.

00:50:33.826 --> 00:50:35.116
The next person might hate it.

00:50:35.116 --> 00:50:38.896
This is why I get to do good work
because I'm so interested in this work.

00:50:39.286 --> 00:50:42.736
Now you, you put two people
together just in terms of success.

00:50:42.736 --> 00:50:47.296
One person is forced to be better at
this through circumstances, necessity.

00:50:47.296 --> 00:50:50.086
The other person just so
intrinsically pulled by that thing.

00:50:51.256 --> 00:50:53.326
We already know which one is gonna excel.

00:50:53.326 --> 00:50:54.706
One person is gonna be a master.

00:50:54.706 --> 00:50:58.366
The other one's gonna be a second,
third best if, if, and if, if they

00:50:58.366 --> 00:50:59.956
stick to it because everything is hard.

00:51:00.911 --> 00:51:01.181
Michael: Correct.

00:51:01.281 --> 00:51:03.761
Faisal: Same thing with your life,
like the life that you're building.

00:51:03.821 --> 00:51:06.491
If you're drained every day by
the life that you're building,

00:51:07.691 --> 00:51:08.951
you should be reassessing.

00:51:08.951 --> 00:51:13.091
If you wake up every day for the next
month and you look at yourself in

00:51:13.091 --> 00:51:16.841
the mirror, mirror and you're like,
I hate my life, or I hate, stop.

00:51:17.111 --> 00:51:19.571
It's like, and I don't, I
don't care what you need to do.

00:51:19.571 --> 00:51:20.351
Do you need to move?

00:51:20.351 --> 00:51:21.551
Do you need to change jobs?

00:51:21.551 --> 00:51:23.081
And he was like, I love this quote.

00:51:24.251 --> 00:51:26.261
If you hate being where you are, move.

00:51:26.261 --> 00:51:27.071
You're not a tree.

00:51:29.331 --> 00:51:31.526
Michael: Yeah, it's great.

00:51:31.961 --> 00:51:32.501
Great thought.

00:51:32.501 --> 00:51:34.781
It's a scary thought I think for a
lot of people, too, though, right?

00:51:34.781 --> 00:51:34.941
Of like,

00:51:35.061 --> 00:51:35.351
Faisal: Yeah.

00:51:36.251 --> 00:51:37.331
Michael: you know, change is scary.

00:51:37.391 --> 00:51:39.011
Nobody likes to, to change.

00:51:39.056 --> 00:51:40.796
Faisal: It's not, well, this,
this is, this is what we

00:51:40.796 --> 00:51:41.936
were pointing to: it's scary.

00:51:41.936 --> 00:51:42.986
It's uncomfortable.

00:51:43.346 --> 00:51:46.406
If you, if you've spent a bunch of
time, and there was a period in my

00:51:46.406 --> 00:51:50.306
relationship where my wife and I worked
on a bunch of stuff, and I gave it a year.

00:51:50.306 --> 00:51:52.106
I'm like, okay, we'll
work on this for a year.

00:51:52.316 --> 00:51:54.806
After a year, I was
like, I put my hand up.

00:51:54.806 --> 00:51:55.886
I'm like, we can't do this.

00:51:55.886 --> 00:51:56.666
I was like, we need help.

00:51:56.771 --> 00:52:00.911
So, and, and it takes humility to
realize that you might need the support.

00:52:00.941 --> 00:52:02.861
I don't care who that
is., Is, is that a friend?

00:52:02.861 --> 00:52:03.671
Is that a community?

00:52:03.671 --> 00:52:04.811
Is that a professional help?

00:52:05.801 --> 00:52:09.851
That, if I hadn't gotten the support
that I've had, like I wouldn't have the

00:52:09.851 --> 00:52:13.241
quality of life that I have and, and
that's why I can continue to invest in

00:52:13.241 --> 00:52:17.141
my own growth, whether on the business
side or on on the personal side.

00:52:17.201 --> 00:52:22.261
I've invested more than probably I, I
want to admit, but I would still wanna

00:52:22.261 --> 00:52:26.761
invest more because it has helped me
shortcut, like one of my clients, I

00:52:26.761 --> 00:52:31.411
put up a testimonial, like I feel like
working with me has been a cheat code.

00:52:31.411 --> 00:52:33.601
And when I heard that, I'm like, yeah,
I've worked with a lot of people that've

00:52:33.601 --> 00:52:36.751
given me cheat codes, but it was the
working, the process of the work.

00:52:36.991 --> 00:52:40.651
It wasn't something they said, it was
just the difficult process we went

00:52:40.651 --> 00:52:44.431
through that unlocked something that I
wouldn't have been able to do on my own.

00:52:45.266 --> 00:52:45.446
Michael: Right.

00:52:45.776 --> 00:52:46.046
Yep.

00:52:46.376 --> 00:52:46.526
Yeah.

00:52:46.526 --> 00:52:47.876
Process, experience.

00:52:48.566 --> 00:52:53.156
I want to go from the super serious
now to the super unserious and jump

00:52:53.156 --> 00:52:54.236
into our speed round if you're ready.

00:52:54.236 --> 00:52:54.501
Five quick questions,

00:52:54.501 --> 00:52:55.736
Faisal: Yeah, let's do it.

00:52:55.946 --> 00:52:58.526
Michael: starting, starting
with what's the first kid show

00:52:58.526 --> 00:52:59.726
theme song that comes to mind?

00:53:01.076 --> 00:53:02.236
Faisal: Kids show theme song?

00:53:03.376 --> 00:53:07.436
Do, do, do, do, do.. I'm
saying that Pink Panther.

00:53:08.351 --> 00:53:08.571
Michael: Oh.

00:53:08.636 --> 00:53:11.486
Faisal: So when, when I used to go
to school, it was right before there

00:53:11.486 --> 00:53:13.136
was Tom and Jerry and Pink Panther.

00:53:13.136 --> 00:53:17.006
Those are two shows that would turn
on and I had like 15, 20 minutes

00:53:17.006 --> 00:53:18.446
watch that and go straight to school.

00:53:18.446 --> 00:53:20.666
So that, that's the Pink
Panther has stayed in my mind.

00:53:21.296 --> 00:53:21.656
Michael: Love it.

00:53:21.656 --> 00:53:23.756
I have not thought of
Pink Panther in so long.

00:53:24.086 --> 00:53:25.826
Now that song's gonna be
in my head all night, and

00:53:26.041 --> 00:53:26.391
Faisal: Right.

00:53:26.446 --> 00:53:27.296
Michael: I'm not sorry about that.

00:53:29.406 --> 00:53:30.926
What was your very first job?

00:53:31.826 --> 00:53:36.536
Faisal: Very first job actually was in
I, I was the most excited for that job.

00:53:36.626 --> 00:53:41.396
I was in, it's a theme
park in Canada, Wonderland.

00:53:41.816 --> 00:53:42.626
It's called Wonderland.

00:53:42.626 --> 00:53:44.786
It's in Toronto region,
greater Toronto area.

00:53:44.786 --> 00:53:46.586
And I was working at New York Fries.

00:53:47.096 --> 00:53:50.251
I still remember because I was
so excited to get that job, job.

00:53:50.281 --> 00:53:50.571
Michael: Yeah.

00:53:50.686 --> 00:53:53.606
Faisal: I only worked for a little bit
because my cousin ended up hiring me

00:53:53.606 --> 00:53:57.386
for his company for something, and I
moved there, but that was my first job.

00:53:58.571 --> 00:53:59.111
Michael: Very cool.

00:53:59.471 --> 00:54:02.041
Would you rather spend 24
hours with a toddler-sized

00:54:02.041 --> 00:54:03.971
T-Rex or a T-Rex-sized toddler?

00:54:04.971 --> 00:54:06.771
Faisal: I'd say T-rex-sized toddler.

00:54:07.776 --> 00:54:08.236
Michael: Why is that?

00:54:08.751 --> 00:54:11.091
Faisal: Because that'll help
you understand what would, what

00:54:11.091 --> 00:54:13.716
would somebody that little with
a lot of po-, power would do?

00:54:16.956 --> 00:54:17.406
Michael: Fair enough.

00:54:18.276 --> 00:54:19.866
What's your go-to karaoke song?

00:54:21.156 --> 00:54:25.236
Faisal: I don't know if I
carry, I don't, I don't, I don't

00:54:25.236 --> 00:54:26.496
do karaoke, so I don't know.

00:54:27.876 --> 00:54:29.646
Michael: Or if there was, if you had
to pick a song, what would it be?

00:54:31.536 --> 00:54:32.286
Faisal: A song?

00:54:34.566 --> 00:54:38.016
Let me pick a, I, I actually listen
to songs in six different languages,

00:54:38.016 --> 00:54:39.456
so I'll pick an English one.

00:54:40.086 --> 00:54:43.176
There's a song by Passenger.

00:54:44.526 --> 00:54:48.921
It's, some, turning away darkness.

00:54:48.951 --> 00:54:52.521
That actually helped me work through a lot
of my business challenges at that time.

00:54:52.791 --> 00:54:57.711
If you watch the video, sc-,
Scaring Away Darkness or Scare

00:54:57.711 --> 00:54:59.841
Away Darkness, something like that.

00:54:59.841 --> 00:55:03.471
If you watch the video, it just shows
somebody stuck in an office, and he's

00:55:03.771 --> 00:55:06.801
kind of walking around with a guitar,
and that was my situation 11 years

00:55:06.801 --> 00:55:09.591
ago, and I was li-, I would wa-, listen
to that and watch that every day.

00:55:09.591 --> 00:55:10.761
To this day it stuck, in my head.

00:55:11.211 --> 00:55:13.971
That actually helped me through
a lot of challenges that song.

00:55:14.991 --> 00:55:15.681
Michael: Oh, that's amazing.

00:55:16.131 --> 00:55:16.881
That's super cool.

00:55:17.061 --> 00:55:19.251
Last one, what's the weirdest
thing you've ever carried around

00:55:19.251 --> 00:55:21.021
in your bag, briefcase, or pockets?

00:55:22.221 --> 00:55:26.361
Faisal: I'd say snake
poi-, poison antidote.

00:55:26.691 --> 00:55:31.821
I carried that around in my, not in my,
it was like whenever I, I took that with

00:55:31.821 --> 00:55:34.161
me camping for like 10 years straight.

00:55:34.161 --> 00:55:38.061
I never used, and it was expired
after a while anyway, I'm like,

00:55:38.121 --> 00:55:38.421
Michael: Right.

00:55:38.671 --> 00:55:39.861
Faisal: why am I carrying
this thing around?

00:55:42.201 --> 00:55:42.411
Michael: Wow.

00:55:42.741 --> 00:55:44.091
That's a unique answer for sure.

00:55:45.211 --> 00:55:46.431
Well, Faisal,, this was great.

00:55:47.211 --> 00:55:52.551
You pack a lot of wisdom into a very
short time and I appreciate how grounded

00:55:53.646 --> 00:56:00.066
you are amongst all of this experience
that you've had, and you brought some

00:56:00.066 --> 00:56:03.456
really practical ideas and thoughts to
the forefront, and I appreciate that.

00:56:03.456 --> 00:56:05.256
But before we wrap up, I
wanna give you the floor.

00:56:05.256 --> 00:56:07.926
Where should people go if they
wanna learn more, get involved,

00:56:07.926 --> 00:56:08.566
or support what you're building?

00:56:10.056 --> 00:56:10.416
Faisal: Thank you.

00:56:10.416 --> 00:56:11.376
I, I appreciate that.

00:56:11.376 --> 00:56:15.246
So I, I believe in leading
with value and contribution.

00:56:15.246 --> 00:56:19.586
So nobody has actually ever worked with
me or paid me anything until they've been,

00:56:19.896 --> 00:56:21.636
I joke around with my clients, unless,

00:56:23.821 --> 00:56:27.306
I, I would have to put you through two
to three hours of torture, of listening

00:56:27.306 --> 00:56:28.836
to me before you ever work with me.

00:56:29.736 --> 00:56:34.716
So I, I do lots of workshops, put
out a lot of content to serve people.

00:56:35.676 --> 00:56:39.876
You'll be in conversation with me long
before you ever pay me if you ever do.

00:56:39.876 --> 00:56:40.836
Most people don't.

00:56:41.166 --> 00:56:47.931
96% of the people, I'd say, they get
a lot of value from me for for free.

00:56:47.931 --> 00:56:49.791
And that's by design, because
that's how I want lead.

00:56:49.821 --> 00:56:52.401
Regardless of whether you pay me or
not, I'll support you in some way.

00:56:52.701 --> 00:56:55.701
So, you'll find me on
faisalensaun.com, my full name,

00:56:56.121 --> 00:56:57.801
or just search for that on Google.

00:56:57.801 --> 00:57:01.821
And you can start with downloading
the PDF that will support you and

00:57:01.821 --> 00:57:03.261
join me on one of my conversations.

00:57:03.261 --> 00:57:04.821
I do those every other month.

00:57:04.851 --> 00:57:06.981
And, and we'll take it from there.

00:57:07.986 --> 00:57:08.476
Michael: Awesome.

00:57:08.596 --> 00:57:09.196
I appreciate that.

00:57:09.196 --> 00:57:11.056
We'll put those links in
the show notes for sure.

00:57:11.476 --> 00:57:12.366
Again, thank you Faisal.

00:57:12.496 --> 00:57:20.316
I really appreciate your honesty and
just the thoughtfulness behind what

00:57:20.316 --> 00:57:21.976
you do and why you do it, right?

00:57:21.976 --> 00:57:27.291
Like, you've had a lot of different
experiences over the years, and you

00:57:27.291 --> 00:57:29.271
always come back to purpose for you.

00:57:29.331 --> 00:57:33.981
And, it's, I think, a struggle
a lot of dads have is what is

00:57:34.101 --> 00:57:35.541
our ultimate purpose, right?

00:57:35.541 --> 00:57:40.341
Like, yes, we know we need to earn a
living, and yes, we want to be there for

00:57:40.341 --> 00:57:45.791
our families and our loved ones, but like,
what are we doing to, that, brings us

00:57:45.791 --> 00:57:50.181
our energy, so that we can do the things
that, that we want to do and need to do.

00:57:50.271 --> 00:57:52.671
So I appreciate you being on
here today, so thank you again.

00:57:53.001 --> 00:57:55.581
And finally, before you go, if you're
a dad listening to this and you find

00:57:55.581 --> 00:57:58.581
yourself in between, navigating a
season that feels different, head

00:57:58.581 --> 00:58:01.161
to gaptogig.com, and subscribe
to the Gap to Gig newsletter.

00:58:01.521 --> 00:58:04.611
It comes out every Friday, and it's a
quieter space to reflect on work, life,

00:58:04.821 --> 00:58:06.051
and what really matters right now.

00:58:06.062 --> 00:58:08.372
And if this conversation resonated,
consider sending it to another

00:58:08.372 --> 00:58:09.332
dad who might need to hear it.

00:58:09.812 --> 00:58:11.312
Until next time, I'm Michael Jacobs.

00:58:11.312 --> 00:58:13.202
Thanks for showing up and
listening to Gap to Gig.