You don’t have any more time than anyone else
The Life You’re Building Has a CostInside this issue
On My MindMost dads don’t have a time problem. They have a misalignment problem. This week, I sat down with Faisal Ensaun, a coach, entrepreneur, and father who has rebuilt his life from the ground up after navigating survival, addiction, and years of figuring out what actually matters. He was incredibly direct about the life most people are building: “If you’re drained every day by the life that you’re building, you should be reassessing.”  Most dads aren’t sitting around doing nothing. They’re working, providing, showing up, but they’re doing it inside a version of success they never actually defined. Faisal put it even more clearly: “Everything has a cost. Everything has a trade off.”  That’s the part we skip. We say we want more money, more freedom, and more success, but we don’t stop to ask what it’s going to cost us. Time with our kids. Our health. Our relationships. Our sense of purpose. Or we copy someone else’s life because it looks good from the outside. And ten years later, we realize we built something that doesn’t actually fit. That’s the real risk. Not failure. Regret. Define Success Before You Chase ItWhy it MattersIf you don’t define success, you default to what’s around you, And that usually means chasing outcomes without understanding the cost. Why it WorksClarity changes decisions before they become commitments. It helps you avoid building something you’ll eventually need to undo. How to Do It1. Define your version of success across:
Keep it simple, but make it real. 2. Pressure test it Ask: If I get this, what does my life actually look like day to day? Not the highlight version. The normal version. 3. Check the alignment Does that version of life support:
Or does it quietly work against them? Pro TipIf your version of success only sounds good when you say it out loud, it’s not fully thought through. The “What’s My Part?” QuestionWhy it Matters It’s easy to point outward. Your job. Your schedule. Other people. But change doesn’t start there. “What’s your part?”  This is where things usually shift. How to Use It Pick one area that feels off right now:
Then ask: 1. What’s not working? Be specific. 2. What’s my part in this? Not someone else’s. Yours. 3. What am I avoiding? This is usually where the answer is. 4. What’s one thing I can change this week? Small. Clear. Actionable. Pro Tip If the answer feels uncomfortable, you’re probably getting closer to the truth. Time to Sprint: Make One Tradeoff ExplicitWhy it Matters Most people don’t struggle with decisions. They struggle with the cost of those decisions. How to Do It Minutes 0–10: Pick the decision Choose one thing you’re currently pursuing:
Minutes 11–15: Name the cost Ask: If I keep doing this, what does it cost me? Be honest. It can be time, energy, relationships, health, and/ or focus. Minutes 16–20: Choose on purpose Decide: Keep it and accept the cost or change it and accept a different cost. There is no neutral option. Bonus 5 Minutes: Say it clearly “I’m choosing this, and I’m okay with what it costs.” If you can’t say that, you’re not fully bought in. Your MoveWhat’s one tradeoff you’re making right now that you haven’t fully acknowledged? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response. Connect with FaisalFaisal works with business owners and high performers who look successful on paper but feel disconnected underneath it. His focus isn’t on tactics. It’s on helping people see what they’ve been avoiding, take ownership of their decisions, and get clear on the life they’re actually building. He shares a lot of his work through workshops, conversations, and free resources, so you can start doing that work before ever committing to anything deeper. If this conversation resonated, his work will, too. Follow Faisal On his website: https://www.faisalensaun.com/ On his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2IhYB1waklQjJWPkDKeU66 On X: https://x.com/faisalensaun On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/faisalensaun/ On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/faisalensaun1 On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@faisalensaun On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@faisalensaun On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/faisalensaun/ On the Show This WeekContinue the ConversationFaisal shares how his definition of success has evolved through survival, addiction, and rebuilding his life with more intention and alignment. We get into:
Check it Out🎧 Faisal Ensaun on Taking Ownership of Your Life and Redefining Success as a Dad Listen on your favorite podcast platform The Last LaughOkay, that explains the gray hair, but what about my growing bald spot?
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