Why everything feels harder than it should
Rebuilding Energy, Presence, and CapacityInside this issue
On My MindA lot of dads think they have a time problem, but sometimes it’s really an energy problem. This week, I sat down with Dr. Matt Campbell, clinical psychologist and creator of the Our Primal Five framework.  Early in the conversation, he said, “Most people are not broken. They’re depleted.”  The more I thought about it, the more it explained things I think a lot of dads quietly feel. The irritability after a long day. The feeling that even small problems suddenly feel bigger than they should. The constant sense that you’re behind before the day even starts. The strange reality that you can love your family deeply and still feel like you don’t have enough patience or presence left by the end of the day. Matt talked about how many of us normalize depletion because we’ve lived with it for so long. We normalize poor sleep. Constant stress. Endless scrolling. Too much caffeine. Never slowing down. Always consuming. Always reacting.  And eventually, feeling depleted just starts to feel normal. At one point, he described depletion as if “we’re playing from behind all the time.”  That feels true for a lot of dads right now because I think a lot of dads want to become more patient, more present, more engaged, more balanced, but are always running on fumes. And Matt made a point I hadn’t thought about before: patience and presence are often biological states before they become mindsets.  That doesn’t mean mindset doesn’t matter. It means it’s a lot harder to show up the way you want to when you’re depleted physically, emotionally, mentally, and relationally. The encouraging part is you probably don’t need to completely reinvent your life. You may just need to replenish what’s been draining for too long. Stop Playing Catch-UpA lot of dads treat exhaustion like a scheduling issue. Matt argues it’s often a depletion issue instead. Why it MattersWhen you’re depleted:
And the dangerous part? You slowly start believing that version of yourself is just “normal.”  What Depletion Actually Looks LikeMatt described depletion showing up as:
For a lot of dads, it doesn’t look dramatic. It just looks like running slightly empty all the time. How to Start Rebuilding CapacityDon’t try to overhaul everything at once. Pick one area:
Then improve it slightly. Not perfectly. Slightly. Matt said something important: “We’re looking for improvement. Perfection’s not even possible.”  Pro TipIf you’re constantly trying to “push through” exhaustion, ask yourself this: Am I actually tired or have I just normalized depletion? Stack the Right HabitsOne of the smartest ideas from this week’s conversation was habit stacking. Not productivity stacking. Energy stacking. Why it Works A lot of dads think self-care requires finding extra time, but Matt pointed out that many of the best habits can overlap:
You don’t always need more hours. Sometimes you just need better overlap. Try This This week, look for one activity that accomplishes two or three things at once. Examples:
Simple counts. Why it Matters A lot of us default to “I don’t have time,” but many of these habits don’t require extra time. They require slightly different choices inside the time you already have. Pro Tip Don’t ask, “How do I fit everything in?” Instead, ask, “What can I combine?” That question changes a lot. Time to Sprint: Audit What’s Quietly Draining YouWhy it Matters Sometimes the issue isn’t what you’re doing. It’s what you’re constantly consuming. Matt talked about how modern life keeps us overloaded:
And most of us underestimate how much it affects our energy and mood. How to Do It Minutes 0–5: Answer this question “What consistently leaves me feeling worse afterward?” Not what’s morally bad. What actually drains you. Minutes 5–10: Circle the biggest repeat offender Examples:
Minutes 10–20: Create one boundary around it Examples:
Keep it realistic. Bonus 5 Minutes: Replace one draining input with a restorative one
Not everything needs to be optimized. Some things just need to stop draining you. Pro Tip Pay attention to what you reach for when you’re depleted. A lot of coping habits aren’t actually restorative. They’re just distracting. Your MoveWhat’s one habit or behavior that quietly drains more energy from your life than you realized? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response. Connect with MattDr. Matt Campbell is a clinical psychologist and creator of the Our Primal Five framework, which focuses on five foundational areas that shape how we function every day: sleep, sunlight, movement, connection, and consumption.  He’s also a dad of four boys and brought both clinical insight and lived experience to this conversation in a way I think a lot of dads will relate to. Follow Matt On his website: https://www.ourprimal5.com/ On his newsletter: https://our-primal-5.kit.com/9b41ee5325 On Instagram: https://instagram.com/ourprimal5 On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-campbell-a5b22910/ Get the Our Primal 5 Workbook: https://amzn.to/48Qoe9h On the Show This WeekContinue the ConversationThis week’s episode explores what depletion actually looks like in fatherhood and why so many dads feel emotionally and mentally behind even when they’re doing everything they can. We get into:
Check it Out🎧 Matt Campbell on Rebuilding Energy, Presence, and Work Life Balance in Fatherhood Listen on your favorite podcast platform The Last LaughNext on Discovery, see dads in their natural habitat during tornado season… Midwest people know the classic “dad watching storm” pose#tornado #tornadowarning #tornadowatch #stormwarning #tornadosiren |
